Calvary Road Baptist Church
“A FATHER’S DUTY TO PROVIDE, TO
PROTECT, AND TO PROCLAIM”
This message from God’s Word will be
practical, practical, practical, and above all practical. It will not be a
complex sermon, but an extremely simple and straightforward message, building
on truths that are foundational, though they are truths that most these days
seem to be unfamiliar with. Along the way, please do not misunderstand
directness for lack of love or compassion. I have an abundant supply of both,
but find that facts are most helpful to people.
Let me begin by declaring that the
Bible is the very Word of God. Authored by God Himself over a period of about
1,400 years with more than forty human instruments on three continents and
using three languages, it is a book that has stood the test of time and
scrutiny while scientists and archaeologists for centuries have been scrambling
to catch up to its unchanged and unchangeable treasure trove of truth. Beginning
with the Bible, and because it is Fathers Day, let me say that fathers are
important. Not only are fathers important, they are essential, they are crucial,
and they are indispensable. The child who is raised without a father, as well
as the child who is raised by a neglectful, an incompetent, or perverse father
will face some serious challenges in life. That I promise you. How do I know
fathers are so important? Is it because of the plethora of recent studies
referred to on various Internet sites that recognize the importance of dads as
we approach Fathers Day? Not at all. If the Internet is your source for truth
you are in serious trouble. I know fathers are important because in the Word of
God we find that God identifies Himself to His own as Father and has chosen to
refer to the adult male who sired you as your father. See the connection? Every
child’s dad is supposed to be God’s stand-in in the family unit. That makes
fathers important even if most dads have no real appreciation of the role God
designed for them to occupy, of their own importance in the lives of their
children, and even if mothers foolishly think they don’t need any man to help
them raise their children. Additionally, when the Apostle Paul explained his
crucial ministry to the Thessalonian Christians as being so much like a
diligent and successful father’s involvement in the lives of his kids,
reminding them how he and his colleagues holily and justly and unblameably
conducted themselves in their efforts to comfort, and exhort, and charge them
in their Christian lives as a father does his children (if he has a clue about
fatherhood, that is), the importance of a father in a child’s life is thereby
reinforced. Despite the importance of fathers there are a very large number of
men in the world today who seem to be profoundly interested only in activities
associated with making babies, all the while paying little or no attention to
the gut-wrenching task of actually raising the children they have sired. That
so many men get away with that kind of irresponsible behavior may tell us
almost as much about the wisdom of many mothers as it tells us about the
essential childishness of so many so-called men.
To restate the foundational truths
rehearsed so far, remember that the Bible is God’s Word and that fathers are
important. So what if so many people doubt the Bible and the importance of
fathers? That reflects on them, not the Bible or the importance of fathers. The
third foundational truth to rehearse before jumping into my simple Fathers Day
message is your dire need of Jesus Christ. The eternal Son of the living God is
not only virgin born, crucifixion for your sins dead, resurrection victory over
death alive, and ascension to His Father’s right hand on high exalted and
glorified, but He is also life, and light, and truth, and the only Savior of
sinful men’s souls. Turn from your sins and trust Him or you will perish,
suffering the endless wrath of an angry God in the lake that burns with
unquenchable fire forever and forever and forever. To draw these three
foundational truths together, the Bible is God’s Word and is true, fathers are
important and if you are a dad or ever hope to be a dad you are or will be more
important than you can possibly understand, but if you get through this life
without turning to Jesus Christ you will not only fail as a father, but you
will also fail as a human being and will spend eternity suffering the endless
torment of the damned.
Those foundational truths established,
do I need to go into great detail about the whys and wherefores of good dads,
successful fathers, conscientious men loving and raising their children needing
to be godly Christian men who are spiritual leaders and prayer warriors in
their homes? Good. So, if you are not yet a dad and you expect to someday be a
dad, do your kids a great favor and make sure their dad is a Christian dad so
that whatever problems in life they face will not be the result of having a
loser father whose only guidance is leading your kids to Hell as they loyally
follow you to your destiny of damnation. What about if you are already a dad
and you are not a Christian? Then, my friend, you are running out of time.
Though my sermon should be helpful for
men who already have kids, these points that I raise will be most beneficial
for those who are not yet dads, and who perhaps did not have good dads while
growing up, so you will understand in greatly condensed fashion, the formula
for a Christian man to be a successful dad. Of course, you read your Bible. Of
course, you are a man of prayer. Of course, you faithfully attend church. These
and other things go without saying. What I aim to give you is the essence in
publicly observable activities that are found in the lives of great fathers and
wonderful grandfathers:
First, IT IS A FATHER’S DUTY, HOLY
OBLIGATION, AND RESPONSIBILITY TO PROVIDE
This is not rocket science, but it
seems to be increasingly obvious that more and more boys growing up to physical
if not emotional adulthood appear to be unaware of this duty of fatherhood. Yet
there are passages in God’s Word that show this to be a reality that is as old
as humanity. Consider, first, Proverbs 14.23:
“In all labour there is profit: but
the talk of the lips tendeth only to penury.”
This bit of wisdom establishes the
universal benefit to one and all of actually working, and contrasts profitable
working with the tendency toward poverty of those who do little more than talk.
If the universal wisdom of Proverbs 14.23 is not sufficient, consider the
Mosaic Law requirement found in the fourth of the Ten Commandments, Exodus
20.9:
“Six days shalt thou labour, and do
all thy work.”
In other words, it was God’s will for
the Jewish people, the men of that nation not being in any way exceptions, to
work. And why shouldn’t a man, especially a father, work? Is he to wait for his
monthly check from the government? What a wonderful example for his children.
Lest you think the mandate to work is
a concept limited to the Hebrew scriptures alone, please turn to Second
Thessalonians 3.10-14 and the Apostle Paul’s instructions to the new believers
in that congregation:
10 For
even when we were with you, this we commanded you, that if any would not work,
neither should he eat.
11 For
we hear that there are some which walk among you disorderly, working not at
all, but are busybodies.
12 Now
them that are such we command and exhort by our Lord Jesus Christ, that with
quietness they work, and eat their own bread.
13 But
ye, brethren, be not weary in well doing.
14 And
if any man obey not our word by this epistle, note that man, and have no company
with him, that he may be ashamed.
Is this not amazing? According to the
Apostle Paul, there is a one to one correlation between a man working and a man
eating, and if a man does not work he should not eat! In verse 12 he goes so
far as to command men to work. Furthermore, notice from verse 14 that if a man
is not already shamed by his unproductive lifestyle and unwillingness to work,
he is to be avoided by right thinking Christians so he will be ashamed of his
despicable lifestyle choice.
One more passage for you along this
line; First Timothy 5.8 being a single verse lifted from a passage written by
Paul to Timothy about the concept of honoring and providing for your family:
“But if any provide not for his own,
and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is
worse than an infidel.”
Is it not interesting in this day in
which so many men are content to sit idly by while the women of their family work
full time to provide for their households while men are content to do almost
nothing? They wrongly think spending time with the kids compensates for their
unwillingness to work. It does not! The Apostle Paul, writing by inspiration of
the Holy Spirit, informs us that a man who does not provide for his own
household has not only denied the Christian faith, he is actually worse than an
infidel. An infidel is an unbeliever. Yet such a man is actually worse than a
Hell-bound unbeliever.
So, what are we to conclude with
respect to a father’s duty, honor, and privilege to provide for his family?
Get a job.
Get a job.
Get a job.
Get a job.
Get a job.
Get a job.
Get a job.
Get a job.
Get a job.
Get a job.
Get a job.
Get a job.
Get a job.
Get a job.
Get a job.
Get a job.
Get a job.
Get
a job!
Next, IT IS A FATHER’S DUTY, HOLY
OBLIGATION, AND RESPONSIBILITY TO PROTECT
What should a father protect his
children from? What should a father protect their mother from?
A father should protect the physical
well-being of his family. Here is where the duty of a father to provide and the
duty to protect overlap. Part of protecting your loved ones involves providing
a relatively safe environment for them to live in, a safe neighborhood, a safe
community, and a safe home that has some protections against violence and
incursion. Of course, the bum who won’t work cannot provide the level of safety
and protection that a diligent and hard working man can and will provide. That
said, even the safest of neighborhoods are not so far removed from threats of
violence. Therefore, a man needs to exercise wisdom so that his neighbors are
helpful in his efforts to keep his family safe, while at the same time bringing
them to understand that his is simply not a home someone wants to risk entering
without authorization.
A father should next protect the
material well-being of his family. I am not so much convinced a man needs to
make every toy and gadget available to his kids and wife while he is alive, as
I am that a father should make provision for the well-being of his family when
he is no longer around. Again, this goes back to being a provider as a means of
being a protector. Such activities are intertwined, are they not? Before a man
marries he needs to plan and prepare for the protection of his family by
preparing himself. Be it education, a marketable skill, diligence in saving, or
whatever, my conviction is that it is my responsibility to provide for my wife
even after I die, just as it is a dad’s responsibility to protect his children
from financial catastrophe should he die before they reach adulthood. You may
not yet be a father, but what about the future? Are you planning, preparing,
saving, and laboring to position yourself to be a protector against catastrophe
and ruin should you marry, father a child, and then unexpectedly leave behind a
widow with a small child? Their care and well-being still your responsibility
after you are dead, you spend your time as a single young man dinking around
playing video games and doing nothing important when you should spend your time
getting yourself ready for marriage and fatherhood? I think a young man who
marries should plan on securing a term life insurance policy each time his wife
gets pregnant with a child, providing financial security for her in the event
her husband dies before her child reaches adulthood. Something happens to dad
when junior is two years old, mom gets enough money to raise junior and get him
into adulthood before the money runs out. I am not sure a woman should consider
marrying a man who does not love her enough to protect her future and the
future of their children.
Then of course there is the spiritual
well-being of a father’s family. How can a man provide spiritual protection for
his loved ones if he is not spiritual himself? If he is not a spiritual and
godly man he is already a spiritual casualty, suckered by seducing spirits and
their demonic doctrines.[1]
We are engaged in spiritual conflict. The battle that rages is obvious to
everyone who is not a blind and deceived bystander.[2] And
the man who would protect his loved ones from that which is most dangerous,
their spiritual harm, will do so by first of all being a godly man himself, a
prayer warrior, and one who wields the sword of the Spirit which is the Word of
God. What an utter disappointment to a Christian father is a child who rejects
the faith of his father. What malpractice of parenthood it is when a dad is so
spiritually nonchalant that he has no concern for moral purity of his children,
is unconcerned if his children are virgins when they marry, gives no thought to
their eternal destiny, and never wonders what kind of parents his children will
be to his beloved grandchildren.
I hear many men these days talking
about being sheep dogs instead of mere sheep, protecting their families from
wolves. I appreciate that mentality so long as it does not stop short of
providing spiritual protection for your family, but focuses only on protecting
from physical harm. Men, I propose that we never allow thoughts of our
children’s eternity to be far removed from our minds and hearts.
Finally, IT IS A FATHER’S DUTY, HOLY
OBLIGATION, AND RESPONSIBILITY TO PROCLAIM
I am not suggesting that fathers need
to be preachers, as such. I am simply pointing out that this notion that men
can satisfactorily lead only by example is the product of naiveté and an
ignorance of scripture. At some point, sir, you absolutely have to engage in
conversation with your children about the great issues of life. Allow me to
establish the truth of what I have just asserted and then a bit of an
explanation:
Deuteronomy
6.4-9: 4 Hear, O Israel: The LORD
our God is one LORD:
5 And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and
with all thy might.
6 And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be
in thine heart:
7 And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children,
and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest
by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.
8 And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and
they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes.
9 And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house,
and on thy gates.
Read through the entire Old Testament
before you zero in on this passage so you might establish its contextual and
cultural setting. Then you will realize the role fathers were expected to play
(and did play) in the fulfillment of this divine directive. Thus, fathers were
expected to speak to their children and were commanded to speak to their
children about spiritual and moral issues.
Proverbs
1.8 and 4.1: 1.8 My son, hear the instruction of thy
father, and forsake not the law of thy mother.
4.1 Hear,
ye children, the instruction of a father, and attend to know understanding.
Add to these two verses Proverbs 3.2
(a father’s correction), Proverbs 6.20 (a father’s commandments), and Proverbs
13.1 and 15.5 (a father’s instruction). Then there is Proverbs 23.22, where a
child is advised to hearken to his father. To be sure, a father’s good example
is priceless. However, a good example is not sufficient, unless by good example
you include a father’s willingness to open his mouth to speak to his sons and
daughters about important moral and spiritual matters.
Now turn to what is known by many of
you to be my favorite passage in scripture related to this subject of
fatherhood, First Thessalonians 2.10-12, where the Apostle Paul likens his
apostolic ministry in Thessalonica to a good dad’s relationship with his
children:
10 Ye
are witnesses, and God also, how holily and justly and
unblameably we behaved ourselves among you that believe:
11 As
ye know how we exhorted and comforted and charged every one of you, as a father
doth his children,
12 That
ye would walk worthy of God, who hath called you unto his kingdom and glory.
May I point out only two things in
this passage for you dads and dads to be to consider about fatherhood? First,
we see in verse 10 how crucial it is that you be a certain kind of father. Kids
observe what kind of man you are, dad. Make sure that though no child ever had
a perfect dad you will by God’s grace be a dad who is holy with respect to God,
just with respect to others, and unblamable with respect to your child. No kid
deserves less and no kid can hope for more. Next, notice verse 11, the
words exhorted and comforted and charged as describing Paul’s fatherly
ministry. To exhort and comfort and charge are words that describe how a person
opens his mouth and talks. Therefore, to be a dad you absolutely have to talk
to your child. To exhort means to speak about something that is happening. To
comfort is to speak about something that has already happened. To charge is to
speak about something that has not yet occurred but is certain to take place. Fathers
and grandfathers must talk to children.
These passages I have brought to your
attention do not suggest that you need to be an orator to be a good father or
grandfather, or that you need to engage in extended and intricate conversations
with your children. That may not be who you are. However, regardless of who you
are you must speak, because silence when words need to be spoken is grisly
torture. That is why Solomon wrote in Proverbs 27.5, “Open rebuke is
better than secret love.”
Each father has his own personal style
of communicating. That’s fine. However, whatever your personality happens to
be, if you bear the responsibility of being an adult male head of household and
are thereby the de facto father of children living in the house, you have a
duty to speak, to proclaim, to say words and phrases that need to be said to
boys and girls, not only as they are growing up but also after they reach
adulthood.
Have I freaked you out? Have I filled
you with horror? Have I forever removed from you any desire to be a father,
much less a good father? Never fear. Each of us is a work in progress. That
said, if you are a Christian man, and I mean a truly Christian man, you will
find these central features of fatherhood to be more like mole hills than tall
mountains to scale. A real key, of course, is your involvement in church and
hanging around other men who are themselves committed to providing, protecting,
and proclaiming. Sadly, guys who have no intention of providing, protecting,
and proclaiming in ways that please God don’t much hang around the church house
and the men who are by God’s grace good men, good husbands, and great dads. They
seem to come up with one excuse or another to justify rejecting us and what we
believe. Sadly, that is not only their loss, but it proves to be of great loss
to their children.
What is good and glorious about God
and the gospel of God’s grace is that even in the life of some fellow who came
from a terrible home and had no acceptable father image to benefit from growing
up can become a great and godly dad. Understand, it is not a simple formula,
like baking a cake. It involves seeking first the kingdom of God and His
righteousness. However, bit by bit, a little here and a little there, we take
note over time of what God does in a lad’s life, in a young man’s life, and
even in an older guy’s life to transform him into a truly effective and beloved
father.
Simple and practical. That is what
today’s message has been. Provide, protect, and proclaim. If you want to get
into specifics about such things, and perhaps formulate a careful plan so that
when you become a father someday you will have a good shot at being a good one,
then perhaps we should talk so I can make a couple of suggestions for you to
consider.
Before we wrap it up, let me relate to
you our wonderful time yesterday morning when some of our fine men and lads,
along with Eugene Kozachenko and his son Nikita, met for breakfast and the
rehearsal of our memories about dads, grandfathers and uncles providing,
protecting, and proclaiming in influential ways that shaped our lives. It was
remarkable to me the number of us (me included) who had things to say about our
grandfathers and how they influenced our lives. I mention that to remind you
men that though your own children are raised, you are not finished influencing
young lives. I just trust that you are the kind of man whose influence of the
young is a godly influence and beneficial to your grandchildren for eternity.
May God give us men after His own
heart who love Him and serve Him, while they provide for their families, while
they protect their families, and while they proclaim to their families things
that are best said by them.
Question? Comment?
Would you like to contact Dr. Waldrip about this sermon? Fill out the form below to send him an email. Thank you.