“THE GREAT HARM THAT IS DONE BY FEELING SORRY FOR SOMEONE” Part 2
The world was shocked last Monday when
it was reported that funny man and Academy Award winner Robin Williams was
dead, having apparently hanged himself after suffering depression upon learning
he had Parkinson’s Disease, complicated by addictions of various sorts, and
early on there was speculation about serious financial troubles. He left his
third wife, three children, and a former much younger mistress to deal with the
problems he chose to leave behind.[15],[16],[17]
The Robin Williams tragedy is heartbreaking. It is no doubt devastating
to his loved ones. It is appropriate to extend heartfelt expressions of
compassion to anyone whose life has been affected by the loss of a loved one
due to the taking of his own life. I do not in this message seek to pile on and
add woes to anyone suffering loss. I do, however, seek to shine the light of
truth from God’s Word on such matters. Robin Williams was responsible for his
own life. He alone is responsible for his own choices. No one forced him into
show business, into failed marriages, into drug and alcohol addictions, or into
depression. Those were each choices that he made, just as ending his life was a
choice he made. I am profoundly sorry about the choices he chose of his own
accord to make and implement.
Comment is necessary in response to
the torrent of statements being made about Robin Williams’ depression as being
worthy of blame for his death instead of recognizing his own responsibility for
taking his own life. From the beginning sinful man has sought to shift responsibility
for his actions to someone or something else. You will recall that Adam, when
questioned by God about his disobedience, replied in Genesis 3.12, “The woman
whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat.”
We read Eve’s response to God’s question moments later, in Genesis 3.13: “The
serpent beguiled me, and I did eat.” Each, in turn, sought to shift
responsibility for their actions to another, and ultimately to God, Who created
the woman who tempted Adam and who created the serpent that tempted Eve. Since
the Fall man has increasingly looked to avoid personal responsibility for his
own actions and attitudes, choosing whenever possible to shift blame to someone
else or to something else. As well, men choose to shift responsibility for the
actions of others, somehow thinking they are qualified to overturn the
assignment of responsibility by a merciful and all-wise God. Turn in your Bible
to First Corinthians 6.9-10, where we see the Apostle Paul’s list of
particularly heinous sins that are especially characteristic of unsaved people:
9 Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the
kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers,
nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,
10 Nor
thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall
inherit the kingdom of God.
Notice that Paul lists idolatry, four
types of sexual misconduct, theft, and drunkenness in his list of sinful behavior.
Do you see sins here or do you see diseases in Paul’s list? You see sins, don’t
you, including those who are drunkards guilty of getting drunk, not alcoholics
afflicted with the disease of alcoholism? Why is this so? This is so because
the individual who gets drunk, even the guy who finds himself engaged in the
deeply habituated pattern of drunkenness seen so often on skid row, is not
suffering from any disease called alcoholism. Alcoholism is an invention. It is
no disease, but a cleverly designed ruse to conceal the fact that the sufferer
is guilty of self-inflicted sin. He is suffering the effects of sinning, and no
one forces him to do what he of his own free will chooses to do.
Another example of sinning passed off
on people as a disease, Heroin addiction: Listen to the comments related to
Heroin addiction written by Anthony Daniels, MD, formerly a physician and psychiatrist
practicing in the UK, Africa, and various third world countries. He is also the
author of more than twenty books and was a columnist for the London
Spectator, for National Review, and for the Wall Street Journal:
Claiming the whole basis of the
supposed treatment for the supposed disease of Heroin addiction is rooted in
lies and misconceptions, he writes, “. . . research has shown that most addicts
spend at least 18 months taking heroin intermittently before they become
addicted. Nor are they ignorant while they take it intermittently of heroin’s
addictive properties. In other words, they show considerable determination in becoming
addicts. It is something, for whatever reason, that they want to become.
It is something they do, rather than something that happens to them.”[18]
As with every other sin listed here by
Paul, sinful deeds and seemingly overpowering sinful habits are the direct
result of someone choosing on his own to do wrong, choosing on his own to do
wrong again, and choosing on his own to do wrong so frequently that he develops
a deeply ingrained destructive pattern of sin. Whose fault is it? Society’s? Or
his own fault? Blame it on poverty or a bad environment? Then why isn’t
everyone in the neighborhood a drunk or an addict? My friend, the problem is
sin. The solution for that sin? Forgiveness and cleansing through the blood of
Jesus Christ.
Having pointed out that the secular
world’s approach to addressing sinful habits is diametrically opposed to the
clear teaching of God’s Word, allow me to clarify what is behind their
unscriptural stance. They deny accountability to God and want to recalibrate
sins into behavior that is merely unfortunate while not being wicked. As well,
they insist on calling them diseases so as to shift blame from the person who
has made wicked and foolish choices to culture, or society, or religions that make
people feel guilty for no reason, etc. With Robin Williams and others who
suffer from what is usually termed depression, the obvious is typically denied.
What is denied? Reality. “People feel bad because of bad behavior; feelings
flow from actions. This relationship between feelings and behavior is set forth
very clearly in Scripture. For example: Peter often pointed out that good
living produces good feelings.”[19]
First Peter 3.10:
“For he that will love life, and see
good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak
no guile.”
As well, Proverbs 16.13:
“Commit thy works unto the LORD, and thy thoughts shall be
established.”
The correlation between right conduct
and one’s healthy thought patterns is hereby established.
Not to deny that depression can
sometimes be the result of genuine physical problems such as thyroid malfunction,
a brain tumor, Parkinson’s Disease, or other issues that need medical
attention, the fact remains that the majority of people suffering from what is
termed depression, even clinical depression, is the result of sinful behavior
producing guilt that afflicts the conscience. The majority of those suffering
from depression, in my opinion, find themselves in unpleasant situations while
believing they deserve better than they are getting. Thus, you commit sin
against God for objecting to His treatment of you and the circumstances He has
placed you into, you then develop guilt arising from your rebellion against
God, which then results in feelings labeled depression.
In Part 1 I set before you five examples
of individuals in the Bible who felt sorry for themselves, and whose self-pity
was an obvious motivation to commit further sin. There was Cain, who murdered
his brother Abel, Job, Elijah, Gehazi, and Lucifer. They were each shown to
have felt sorry for themselves, to have engaged in self-pity, which then led to
additional sinning.
Next, I WANT TO EXPLORE THE
RELATIONSHIP OF SELF PITY TO PRIDE
The presence of pride in Lucifer’s
rebellion against God is clearly seen. Who can read Isaiah 14.13-14, with his
notorious and presumptuous five “I will” statements and not recognize the
bloated arrogance, the insufferable pride?
13 .
. . I will ascend into heaven, I will exalt my throne above the stars of God: I
will sit also upon the mount of the congregation, in the sides of the north:
14 I
will ascend above the heights of the clouds; I will be like the most High.
And when it is recognized that the
first four “I will” statements assert that Lucifer will show his autonomy from
God by independently elevating his station from earth to the throne room of
heaven, it is clear that his sinful pride (and is there any other kind?) was
offended, that he became consumed with self-pity when he was not assigned a
position he felt appropriate. The pattern established by Lucifer is tragically
repeated so frequently. One finds himself in a situation he does not like, does
not enjoy, feels is beneath his proper station, lacking the recognition he
feels is due him, and he begins to feel sorry for himself. Of course, this is a
manifestation of pride, thinking more highly of yourself than is warranted. What
were Lucifer’s options? Only two: He might have humbled himself (treating it
here as a theoretical possibility) and been grateful God had created him so
marvelous a creature, content to serve wherever his wise Creator placed him. Or,
and this is what he actually did, do something to remove yourself from the
circumstance you object to. With Lucifer it was leading a rebellion against
Almighty God, a rebellion doomed to fail. He sinned by proudly feeling sorry
for himself and then he sinned by proudly revolting against God’s rule.
Do we see evidence of this Luciferian
pattern in Cain? I think we do. Remember, Cain was already angry because his
offering to God was rejected while Abel’s was accepted by God, Genesis 4.4-5. However,
there is a consequence of Abel’s offering being accepted and Cain’s offering
being rejected that is typically ignored, but which I think is key to really
understanding Cain’s murder of his younger brother. Notice, please, the final
sentence of God’s statement to Cain, in Genesis 4.7:
“And unto thee shall be his desire,
and thou shalt rule over him.”
Though the popular interpretation of
the final phrase “thou shalt rule over him” is taken to reference the prospect
of Cain’s mastery over his sin, I am convinced of something else entirely. Cain
had lost his position as Adam’s firstborn son relative to his younger brother
because of his sin, and God here informing him that repentance would result in
his restoration to the position he had once enjoyed relative to Abel once more.
This view of the statement is held by Adam Clarke, whose commentary reads,
“That is, Thou shalt ever have the
right of primogeniture, and in all things shall thy brother be subject unto
thee. These words are not spoken of sin, as many have understood them,
but of Abel’s submission to Cain as his superior, and the words are spoken to
remove Cain’s envy.”[20]
A less well known commentator is
Matthew Poole, who writes,
“. . . the sense is, and (as for thy
brother Abel, to whose faith and piety I have given this public and honourable
testimony, which thy naughty heart makes an occasion of envy and malice, and
intention of murder, that thou mayst not by a mistake be led to the
perpetration of so horrid a crime, know that this favour of mine concerns only
his spiritual privilege, and the happiness of the life to come, which thou
despisest; but it makes no change in civil rights, nor doth it transfer the
dominion from thee, whose it is by birth, unto him; nor doth he so understand
it; for notwithstanding this) unto thee shall be his desire, subject,
i. e. he shall and will nevertheless yield to thee as his superior, and thou,
according to thy own heart’s desire, shalt ride over him. If it be
said the name of Abel is not here mentioned, it may be answered, that this is
sufficiently included in the pronouns his and him, and it is not
unusual to put those relative pronouns alone, the antecedent being not
expressed, but to be gathered either from the foregoing or following words. . .
.”[21]
Finally, the old Baptist, Dr. Gill
writes,
“it refers to Abel; and the meaning
is, that notwithstanding his offering was accepted of God, and not his brother
Cain’s, this would not alienate his affections from him, nor cause him to
refuse subjection to him; but he should still love him as his brother, and be
subject to him as his elder brother, and not seek to get from him the
birthright, or think that that belonged to him, being forfeited by his
brother’s sin; and therefore Cain had no reason to be angry with his brother,
or envious at him, since this would make no manner of alteration in their civil
affairs: and thou shall rule over him,
as thou hast done, being the firstborn.”[22]
Thus, Cain’s sin resulted in him
suffering the loss of place he enjoyed as the firstborn of his father, a
position he would likely have felt he was entitled to. This, of course, enraged
him. God then confronted him and assured him of restoration if he repented of his
sin. Thus, once again there are two options to remedy Cain’s sudden loss of
status, leaving him in a position he did not enjoy: He could either repent and
be restored by God, as promised, or once more become the senior son . . . by
killing his younger brother. Of course, he chose the sinful option, the proud
option, to resolve the self-pity issue he faced, without regard for the welfare
of his younger brother Abel.
Third, we once again visit the
Biblical record of Elijah, wondering if we will find the Luciferian template of
conduct even in the life of a great prophet of God. You will remember that he
stood strong for God against the prophets of Baal and against Israel’s wicked
King Ahab. However, when the threat from Jezebel reached him he ran for dear
life all the way to Beersheba, perhaps covering as much as 100 miles if his
starting point was near Mount Carmel.[23] We
learn from First Kings 19.4 that Elijah then went an additional day’s journey
into the wilderness, “came and sat down under a juniper tree: and he requested
for himself that he might die; and said, It is enough; now, O LORD, take away my life.” We also learn
that an angel ministered to him, fed him two meals of food and water that
nurtured him for forty days, after which he had an encounter with God in which
he claimed,
“I have been very jealous for the LORD God of hosts: for the children of
Israel have forsaken thy covenant, thrown down thine altars, and slain thy
prophets with the sword; and I, even I only, am left; and they seek my
life, to take it away.”[24]
Never mentions Jezebel in this
complaint to God, does he? We notice that his complaint revolves around
himself. Cut the references to others from First Kings 19.10 and this is what
you have left:
“I have been very jealous for the LORD God of hosts . . . and I, even
I only, am left; and they seek my life, to take it away.”
If Elijah really wanted to die, why
did he complain that God’s enemies wanted him dead? Was it that Elijah wanted
to die, or that Elijah wanted to die if he could not live out his life in circumstances
he found agreeable? I think Elijah only wanted to die because God’s plan for
him was contrary to what he wanted for his life. Could it be that Elijah was
shocked to discover that he had not become a popular hero after opposing King
Ahab and standing against the prophets of Baal? Had he become disillusioned
when Jezebel did not cower at the mention of his name, but instead issued a
threat that caught him completely by surprise and frightened him? Is he now discouraged
and despondent because rather than being thought by others that he is a hero he
is instead a fugitive? This is the evidence of the prophet’s pride. For if he had
been humble he would have been unconcerned about his reputation, about the
esteem with which he was held by others. How then does God respond to Elijah,
particularly to his pride? Tenderly, it seems. Gently, evidence suggests. Remember,
God did provide food and water to sustain him. As well, God did take him into
His veritable bosom and speak to him when he was in the cave. It was there
Elijah rehearsed his complaint, twice.[25] What
did God then do? He spoke very quietly to His servant, and gave him three
assignments. He was to anoint a man named Hazael to be king over Syria.[26]
He was to anoint a man named Jehu to be king over Israel.[27] Finally,
he was directed to anoint Elisha to take Elijah’s place.[28] Oh,
and there was one more thing. God said to him, recorded in First Kings 19.18,
“Yet I have left me seven
thousand in Israel, all the knees which have not bowed unto Baal, and every
mouth which hath not kissed him.”
Elijah is informed that he is not
the only one. There were 7,000 others that he didn’t know anything about. Thus,
the basis for his discouragement was deeply flawed by his profound ignorance of
reality. He did not know what he was talking about, which is commonly the case
with discouragement and issues of pride. Did it end well for Elijah? He did
anoint Elisha. He also continued to serve the LORD for several more years before he was taken to heaven in
a whirlwind.[29]
We learn in the gospels that he appeared to our Lord Jesus Christ on the Mount
of Transfiguration along with Moses.[30] However,
I am unaware of him ever completing the assignments of anointing Hazael and
Jehu, and I am unaware of any indication in scripture that he repented of his
sin of feeling sorry for himself, or of the pride that led to it. Was Elijah
stubborn? Did he refuse to repent? I do not know.
Fourth, to search for a Luciferian
template of sinful self-pity we take a look at Gehazi, the servant of Elisha. To
remind you, Gehazi followed after the Syrian general, Naaman, after Elisha had
refused his offer of money as a reward for being cleansed from the leprosy that
had sorely afflicted him. Gehazi then lied to Naaman to secure a quantity of
silver from the wealthy foreigner, and later lied to Elisha to cover up his
sin. The result, of course, was that he was afflicted with the leprosy that
Naaman was relieved of, Second Kings 5.27. Gehazi’s motive for seeking silver
from Naaman and thereby risking Elisha’s reputation as a prophet of God by
suggesting he conjured miracles for money, was his feeling that he deserved
better than he was getting. Naaman had such opulent wealth and he was a
Gentile. Elisha had access to great wealth but it meant nothing to him, because
he enjoyed the respect of men because he was a prophet of the Most High God. What
did Gehazi have? Apparently, he came to see himself not has being privileged to
serve God by attending to God’s choice servant, but as being poor and living on
handouts. He felt he deserved better. That, my friends, is pride. God responded
to Gehazi’s proud pursuit and subsequent lies by giving him far more to feel
sorry about than a lack of silver. As much as a person can feel sorry for
himself for some distorted reason, it is always possible for a person to feel
much sorrier for a much more serious reason. Having a low station in life as
Elisha’s poor attendant, Gehazi’s foolish response to self-pity was met with .
. . leprosy. The result? He fell from having a low station in life to having no
station in life, since lepers were forbidden to have any contact with anyone
not himself a leper. Lepers were required to wear nothing on their heads, wear
only clothes that were torn, keep a cloth cover over their mouths, and shout “Unclean!
Unclean!” whenever they saw someone so they could be avoided, under penalty of
death if they did not.[31]
How did Gehazi respond to this terrible affliction? We do not know. He passes
from the Biblical record, recognizing that mention of him in Second Kings 8 is
because Second Kings is not strictly chronological. Therefore, we have no information
concerning Gehazi’s repentance, knowing only that Second Kings 5.27 indicates
his leprosy would be lifelong. My friends, keep in mind that no matter how bad
you might think it is, it can always get worse. Oh, how important the joy of
the Holy Spirit is to the child of God.
We conclude with the patriarch Job. Remember,
Satan was allowed by God to strip Job of his material possessions. He was then
allowed by God to strip Job of his beloved children. He was then allowed by God
to strip away Job’s physical health. The fourth thing Job lost was the love and
support of his wife. Fifth, Job lost the support and understanding of his
friends. All of these things worked to rob him of his sense of worth and
dignity, then his sense of the justice of God, and finally his sense of the
love of God.[32]
Most of you are somewhat familiar with Job’s story. What suffering he endured. What
integrity he displayed before falling into the sin of self-pity. I certainly
could never pretend to duplicate the steadfastness or fidelity to God that Job
exhibited. We should ever be mindful that these things did not befall Job
because he had sinned, but because he had such a stellar reputation for godliness.
However, he did succumb to Satan’s temptations to sin by feeling sorry for
himself. And the motive for feeling sorry for himself? There can be no doubt of
its cause, as we see in its remedy. After Job had been laid waste by Satan, by
his friends, and by his isolation when he felt utterly alone, he was confronted
by God. Keep in mind that God never actually stopped loving Job. Neither had
God ever dealt with him in an unjust fashion. Job 38.1:
“Then the LORD answered Job out of the whirlwind. .
. ”
To be sure, God rebuked Job for
pouting, corrected his considerations, and reminded him of his rightful place
in God’s scheme of things. After all, Job had a diminished perception of God’s
glory, majesty, might, sovereign prerogative, and right place in Job’s life, as
well as having a somewhat inflated opinion of himself. That’s called pride. Oh,
did the LORD hammer Job’s self-esteem (which is a
good thing, after all). And what was the result of the LORD’s dealings with him? How did Job
respond to the truth? How did he react to the revelation to him of reality, at
least that portion of reality that he needed to address? Most importantly, how
did Job respond to his LORD? In what way did Job deal with the self-pity
that was produced by his pride? We look to Job 42.1-6:
1 Then Job answered the LORD, and said,
2 I know that thou canst do every thing, and that
no thought can be withholden from thee.
3 Who is he that hideth counsel without knowledge?
therefore have I uttered that I understood not; things too wonderful for me,
which I knew not.
4 Hear, I beseech thee, and I will speak: I will demand of
thee, and declare thou unto me.
5 I have heard of thee by the hearing of the ear: but now
mine eye seeth thee.
6 Wherefore I abhor myself, and repent in dust and
ashes.
When someone feels sorry for himself
because of his circumstance or situation, he is in effect complaining that his
God is too small to affect his situation, or too unconcerned to agree with him
about what should be happening to him. In other words, your estimation of
yourself is too high and your appraisal of God is too low. Job is now over
that. God can do anything. God knows everything. “Wherefore I abhor myself,
and repent in dust and ashes,” he said. There is now humility and repentance.
Be mindful that these five individuals
are only a sampling. However, their actions and attitudes are very illustrative,
showing us the relationship of pride to self-pity, of pride to feeling sorry
for yourself. It is clearly seen in Lucifer, Cain, Elisha, Gehazi, and Job. With
each one, his pride resulted in disagreement with God, denying in God both the
right and the wisdom to deal with His creatures as He sees fit, and perhaps
calling into question God’s motives, God’s goodness, and God’s love. With each
it seems that a pattern emerges, first found in Lucifer, in which someone who
feels sorry for himself is then faced with a fork in the road of life. He can
either humbly repent of his sin of pride and the actions that pride fostered,
or he can stubbornly refuse to humble himself and seek another resolution to
the problem that is sinful and dishonoring to God.
Lucifer, of course, opted for
rebellion against God, leading one-third of the heavenly host to defect and
foolishly and impossibly seek the overthrow of God. Cain opted for murder
instead of repentance. Elijah is not recorded to have repented of his sin, as
was the case with Gehazi who immediately disappears from the Biblical record
once he is afflicted with leprosy. Only Job humbly repents of his sinful pride
that led to feeling sorry for himself. Job is a wonderful example for each of
us to follow in this regard. Let us purpose to never question God’s power with
respect to our circumstances, or His love and wisdom. Surely, in light of our
Savior’s saving work on the cross of Calvary, we ought to never have occasion
to question God regarding anything.
[1] http://www.beliefnet.com/columnists/lettinggo/2012/03/10-reasons-why-its-stupid-to-ever-feel-sorry-for-yourself.html
8/5/14
[3] Genesis 18.25
[4] 1 Kings 17-18
[5] 1 Kings 19.4
[6] 1 Kings 18.27
[7] 2 Kings 2.9-11
[8] 2 Kings 5.1-11
[9] 2 Kings 5.15-19
[10] 2 Kings 5.20-27
[11] Charles H. Spurgeon, Spurgeon Devotional
Commentary, (Bronson, MI: Online Publishing, Inc., 2002),
bible@mail.com
[12] Ezekiel 28.12-15
[13] Ezekiel 28.13
[14] Revelation 12.4
[16] http://radaronline.com/exclusives/2014/08/robin-williams-had-serious-money-troubles-in-months-before-his-death-claims-friend-was-the-pressure-too-much/
8/12/2014
[17] http://www.thepoliticalinsider.com/robin-williams-attractive-much-younger-former-mistress-speaks/
8/15/14
[18] Anthony Daniels, The Worldview That Makes The
Underclass, “Imprimis: A Publication of Hillsdale College,” May/June
2014, Volume 43, Number 5/6, page 4.
[19] Jay E. Adams, Competent To Counsel:
Introduction To Nouthetic Counseling, (Grand Rapids, MI: Ministry
Resources Library, 1970), pages 93-94.
[20] Adam Clarke, Clarke’s Commentary, Vol I,
(New York: Abingdon Press), page 59.
[21] Matthew Poole, A Commentary On The Whole Bible,
Volume 1, (Peabody, MA: Hendrickson Publishers), page 13.
[22] John Gill, The Baptist Commentary Series Volume
I, John Gill’s Exposition Of The Old And New Testaments, Vol 1 (Paris,
Arkansas: the Baptist Standard Bearer, Inc., reprinted 2006), page 34.
[23] 1 Kings 19.1-3; http://www.evi.com/q/distance_from_mount_carmel,_israel_to_beersheba
8/12/2014
[24] 1 Kings 19.4-10
[25] 1 Kings 19.9-18
[26] 1 Kings 19.15
[27] 1 Kings 19.16
[28] 1 Kings 19.16
[29] 2 Kings 2.11
[30] Mark 9.4
[31] Leviticus 13.45-46
[32] J. Vernon McGee, Job, (Pasadena, CA:
Thru The Bible Books, 1977), pages 33-36.
Would you like to contact Dr. Waldrip about this sermon? Fill out the form below to send him an email. Thank you.