Calvary Road Baptist Church
“RECIPE FOR A GODLY MOTHER”
I always look forward to Mothers Day, that singular recognition in our country of the profound importance of motherhood as a social institution and of our own mothers in our lives. My only regret is that our nation’s president chose this election cycle to express his opinion that marriage should have no fixed boundaries and that same sex marriage should be legalized in our nation. I am sad that such irresponsible remarks should cast a pall over Mothers Day, threatening the very concept of home and marriage as our Creator and Sustainer, Almighty God designed it. Nowhere in the history of the human race has same sex marriage been attempted, much less legalized. Thankfully, in every state in the United States where citizens have had an opportunity to vote they have soundly defeated the bizarre notion, including here in California by a wide margin.
May I state at the outset that my operational assumption is that the Bible is the Word of God, that it was divinely inspired and that it has been supernaturally preserved? May I also state that far from science and the Bible disagreeing with each other, there is fundamental and penetrating correspondence between the truths set forth in scripture and the truthful findings and conclusions of scientific inquiry? The real issue with many scientists who speak against the Bible, just as is the case with everyone else who speaks against the Bible, is that God is right and we are wrong, though no one who is proud will sit still to be told he is wrong about anything. Nevertheless, the fact remains that all mankind is in error and only God is right and true, an admission that every Christian (as flawed and as inconsistent in our profession as we admit to being) has embraced as true. That is why we Christians trust Jesus to save us from our sins.
My call to the gospel ministry took place almost thirty-seven years ago. By God’s wonderful grace, since then I have spent the better part of my time not only studying and preaching God’s Word, but also ministering grace to those who sought my counsel. Though there is a school of thought in our culture that insists only drunkards are fit to counsel drunkards on the evil of drink and how to stop boozing, that insists only prostitutes are fit to counsel prostitutes on the evils of prostitution and how to get out of that lifestyle, and that insists that only gamblers can understand and help those addicted to gambling, such is not true in the least. My favorite uncle was a prisoner of war during World War Two, captured at Corregidor and in a Japanese prison camp for the duration. From his own mouth, I learned that he was a drunkard and promiscuous adulterer for twenty years until Jesus saved his wretched and undeserving soul. From that moment onward, my uncle was someone who used to be a drunkard, not in any sense a recovering alcoholic. He used to be an adulterer, no more after his conversion cheating on his wife. I could provide testimony after testimony of God’s goodness and grace in the gospel of Christ, including the very famous man known as Saint Augustine, who had been the bishop of Hippo, and the former slave ship captain, John Newton who authored the hymn “Amazing Grace.” Someone who is in the hog trough of sin and despair is of little use in helping out someone who occupies the same hog trough.
Having stated that a common modern day conception of what is required to help someone is actually a misconception, allow me to address our topic for today, motherhood, by pointing out the obvious to you. I am not a mother, I will not be a mother in the foreseeable future, and therefore I am not helpful to women who are mothers and women who hope to someday be mothers from the perspective of any experiences I have had as a mother. If that disqualifies me from ministering grace to people then I am disqualified. However, if being a qualified minister of the gospel and a student of God’s infallible Word is at all useful, and if having a reputation for providing successful counsel to mothers and those who will some be mothers is at all indicative, then I dare to speak to women this morning about motherhood. I have spent the span of a lifetime for some of you ministering to moms as well as dads, and use as the source of truth that I traffic in the infallible Word of God. Therefore, in honor of all the moms, grandmoms, and moms to be here today, I bring a very simple message from God’s Word. Actually, it is a recipe for making a woman into a godly mother. Please note that while I love moms and want to do anything and everything to minister God’s grace to moms, it is clear from God’s Word that there are certain aspects of motherhood that are completely ignored by most moms. I refer, this morning, to what the Bible reveals to be godliness.
It is quite obvious that no woman who has ignored the issue of godliness can be a godly mother. No woman who has been dismissive of the idea of godliness can be a godly mother. However, being a godly woman is important to God, is important to godly mothers, and is also important to children of all ages who have become Christians. Many of you here today know how much I loved my mother. I miss her terribly. May I say, as a Christian man, that for more than thirty years I wanted my precious mom to be a godly mom?
Four ingredients properly blended together by God’s gracious and tender hand in a woman’s life can transform any woman into a truly godly mom:
First, A WOMAN MUST HAVE A SAVIOR
Is there any doubt that only a Christian woman can be a godly woman? You see, only a Christian woman is a forgiven woman, her sins being forgiven by God based on her faith in Jesus Christ, the only savior of sinful souls. Sadly, most who are not Christians mistakenly think Christians are of the opinion we are better than other people are. I used to think that. However, I have discovered that is simply not the case. Everyone commits sins, with the Christian woman being a woman whose sins are graciously and undeservedly forgiven. A Christian woman is a woman whose sins are forgotten by God, who said concerning those who have embraced Christ as Savior, “I will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their iniquities will I remember no more,” Hebrews 8.12. A Christian woman is a woman who is indwelt by the Holy Spirit of God, who not only gives her spiritual life where before there was spiritual death, but also begins to transform her personality, renew her mind, and intercede for her when she prays to God the Father in a way He will not do for the woman who is not a Christian.
This is not to say that a mother who is not a Christian cannot be devoted to her children, absolutely committed to raising them properly, and tireless in her devotion to her children. However, no woman who is not a committed Christian has ever been described as godly. No one who denies the eternal Son of the living God, the only Savior of sinful souls, can be considered godly. No one who does not openly confess and publicly admit to being a corrupt sinner, incapable of saving herself owing to the spiritual deadness of her spirit and the powerlessness of her soul, can be considered godly. Only Christians confess their sinfulness, First John 1.9: “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” No woman who is not a God-fearing, Christ-honoring, gospel-obeying woman can be a godly mom, since one of the primary assignments given to moms by God is to bring her children by precept and by example to a life of faith in and obedience to Jesus Christ. Though visible success always depends upon each child’s own decisions and direction in life, it is the goal of any women who would be described as godly to raise her children to walk worthy of God, who calls them to His kingdom and glory, First Thessalonians 2.12. The godly mom at least shows by her own example and instruction the direction in life her children should go.
To be a truly godly woman you have to trust. However, there is no one in this world who is trustworthy, certainly not any man. Men are so disappointing, so unreliable, so perplexed about the women in their lives. Only the Savior, only Jesus Christ, only the Son of God can be trusted, fully trusted, fulfillingly trusted by a woman who would be godly, because only He is trustworthy.
Next, A WOMAN MUST HAVE A CHURCH
Every Christian in the Bible of whom sufficient information is provided is shown to be in a vital and accountable relationship with a congregation and the other Christians that comprise that congregation. It was for this purpose that the apostles organized churches of Jesus Christ wherever they went. Only in the church of Jesus Christ can the highest and most ennobling opportunities for Christian womanhood be fully realized within the context of a redeemed congregation of believers who embrace the Biblical reality that women stand on equal footing with men at the foot of the cross of Calvary.
Since motherhood is the highest and most challenging ministry that any Christian woman can be entrusted by the grace of God to engage in, what better place for a Christian woman to be than in a God-honoring and Christ-exalting congregation of like-minded people who prayerfully encourage and provide support for her to achieve as a mother what her tender heart longs for? To be a mother and not be in church is to be a mother who has placed herself in a setting where opposition to her grand purpose and design as a mother is guaranteed. Does she want her children to be truthful? Where better to raise them than in a community of believers who agree with her that it is the truth that sets men free. Does she want her children to be morally pure? Where better than in a community committed to modesty and personal holiness, and where the dream of every mom and dad is to see their virgin son or their virgin daughter marry a virgin. Does she want her children heaven-bound or Hell-bound? Then how could she not raise her children in the midst of people who are committed to the Great Commission of our Lord Jesus Christ, and who prayerfully seek the salvation of all men, as well as their own children?
The church is the pillar and ground of the truth.[1] The church is the Temple of God where Christ is served and in which context Christ will grant rewards for faithful service.[2] The church is a safe refuge from the corrupt practices and perverse standards that are found in this fallen and gainsaying world. As well, when things are right, church can be a little bit of heaven on earth, a place where there is encouragement, support, friendship, and instruction from God’s Word.[3] Of particular concern to the Christian woman is the instruction she can best receive in her church. A woman who rejects the good example of her own mother is a foolish ingrate. However, a woman who blindly emulates her mother as the perfect example of womanhood and motherhood can be equally foolish, since no one’s mother is perfect in every respect. For this reason, the standard for Christian womanhood is not measured by one’s own mother, but by the Word of God. What mom does not want her daughter to be an even better mother than she has been? Thankfully, God has made provision for any woman to be a truly godly mother by placing in congregations such as ours aged women to teach young women to love their husbands and to love their children, Titus 2.4. Until a young woman is so taught by a qualified aged Christian woman, she cannot be sure that she really knows what loving her children and loving her husband really are.
Third, A WOMAN MUST HAVE A PASTOR
If you ever take note of a woman who does not have a pastor, you are likely to observe a somewhat bizarre and unfruitful approximation of the Christian life. I say this because God’s plan for every Christian, including a truly Christian woman, includes a relationship with a pastor. This is made clear in many passages found in the New Testament, from Ephesians 4.11-12 to Hebrews 13.7 and 17.
There are three features about a Christian woman’s relationship with her pastor that come immediately to mind: First, of course, is the somewhat paternal relationship that exists between any Christian and the man whose gospel ministry led to that precious soul being converted to Christ. In First Corinthians 4.15, Paul refers to himself as the spiritual father to such who were begotten by him in the gospel. In Galatians 4.19, he writes to his converts as being “my little children” for whom he experienced travail, a kind of spiritual labor pains, when they came to Christ. In Philemon 10, he identifies the convert Onesimus as his son. Then, in First John 2.12, the Apostle John identifies those likely converted under his ministry as “my little children.” Thus, there is a kind of spiritual paternity the pastor enjoys with the real Christian converted under his ministry that the unsaved person cannot grasp, and is frequently jealous of. Of course, this is closely tied to the admonitions found in Hebrews 13.7 and 17, where we find believers exhorted to “Remember them which have the rule over you, who have spoken unto you the word of God,” and also to “Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls.” This second feature of a Christian woman’s relationship with her pastor compliments and does not in any way conflict with a proper relationship she has with her husband, if she is married. The last feature of a Christian woman’s relationship with her pastor that presently comes to my mind has to do with her ministry effectiveness. What Christian woman would not want to be effective as a mother and in her area of ministry? After all, investing your life in service to God is a big deal and you want to make sure you are doing things right. This is the most obvious role that I play in a Christian’s life, Ephesians 4.12, by equipping Christians for ministry. To be sure, this is mostly done through teaching and preaching. However, counsel sought and given to personalize one’s approach to Christian ministry is both needful at times and is very beneficial.
Additionally, consider the need for counsel should there be a husband who obeys not the Word. Women and men do not think alike. Women as frequently misread husbands as often as husbands misread wives, though women who have the wrong kind of experience with many men are convinced they know men. No, they only know men at their very worst. A pastor can be a resource for a woman’s dealings with men who not at their worst, or a help for someone whose experience dealing with those men who are not perpetually on the prowl. When a woman seeks God’s best for her husband she can benefit from her pastor’s ministry, as any number of women in our church already know.
What is the greatest hindrance to a woman benefiting from having a pastor? My opinion is that it is pride, admitting there is a problem, acknowledging a lack of control in a situation with her husband. If your husband is not in the auditorium with you this morning, is it not true that a serious problem and your lack of control in the situation are self-evident? This leaves only the pride to deal with.
Finally, IN ADDITION TO THE SAVIOR, A CHURCH, AND A PASTOR, TO BE A GODLY MOTHER YOU MUST HAVE A CHILD.
Just a few observations about having a child before bringing this morning’s message to a close:
First, let me say that it should not matter by what means you come to be a mother. By that, I mean that some women become mothers by carrying a child in their wombs and then delivering them, other mothers become mothers by adopting the child of their dreams, and still other women become mothers by marriage to a man with children. May I say to you that by whatever of these methods you became a mom; it should not matter to you, though it often matters to others. There are some adopted children who are as connected to their mothers, as happy with their mothers, and as secure and fulfilled with their mothers as any child that woman might have conceived and then carried to full term. However, some adopted children have issues. As well, some adopting mothers have issues. When that occurs I am sorry, but those are the choices those individuals make that serve only to limit the fullness and delight of the relationship. There are also some children whose mother comes to them by marriage who are as connected to their mothers, as happy with their mothers, and as secure and fulfilled with their mothers as any child that woman might have conceived and carried to full term. However, there are also children who are so determined to thwart their father’s plan to complete the family unit that they never give their mother by marriage a chance to be the mom she would love to be. Again, that is a choice and it is as sad as when the step mom prevents the relationship from flourishing.
I have noticed that there are generally two approaches to motherhood to be found in our culture these days. Some moms recognize that their children are bent and that to raise them you must actively work to see them grow up straight. Other moms think their kids are born straight and that all you must do is make sure they are fed, clothed, bathed and kept active. This second kind of mom will be disappointed to discover the directions their kids take in life. In fact, God’s design for motherhood can only be realized by the godly woman, that woman who has a Savior, who has a church, who has a pastor, and who has a child. A deficiency in any of those areas can leave a mother who is loving, a mother who is committed, and even a mother who is determined. She just cannot be a mother who is godly, because God’s plan is for godly mothers to have a Savior, to have a church, to have a pastor, and of course to have a child.
Though some discount the importance of godliness, the Apostle Paul wrote, “godliness with contentment is great gain,” in First Timothy 6.6. Why so? Eternity. It is a matter of eternity. You came into this world with nothing, and you will leave this world with nothing, then entering eternity. Eternity is a long, long time. Godliness is important because godliness is related to your own preparation for dealing with forever, and the influence you will have on your own children to prepare them for forever.
Dear mom, do not limit yourself to considerations of a lifetime in this world alone. Take into account that everyone will die, and that everyone will then be confronted with eternity. That is why you need to be a godly mom. That is why anything less than being a godly mom is simply not enough.
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