Calvary Road Baptist Church
“DADS NEED TO FOLLOW THE ADVICE THEY GIVE TO THEIR SONS”
Proverbs 19.27
Tonight, I bring a devotional message that I am persuaded is of timely benefit to moms and dads going into the Thanksgiving and Christmas seasons. Good dads are all about setting an example for their wives and children and ministering grace to their families by leading them in the Word and prayer and by offering sage advice.[1]
During my morning devotions, I read the text before us and was struck by how applicable it might be over the Thanksgiving and Christmas family get-togethers. Solomon wrote,
“Cease, my son, to hear the instruction that causeth to err from the words of knowledge.”
We have all likely heard the old bromide, “What’s good for the goose is good for the gander.” That means, among other things, the good advice you give to others is worth taking yourself.
It is most excellent advice to urge your son to stop listening to conversations, comments, opinions, reflections, suggestions and hints from others that have no other purpose than to drive a wedge in his life that distances him from God, from the people of God, from the Church of God, from the Pastor, and ultimately from mom and the proper role a father is supposed to have in his family member’s lives.
But what happens when dad misconstrues his role in the lives of his wife and children and finds himself during the holidays exposed to snide and disrespectful comments from his wife in front of his children and extended family members or from his adult children taking various forms of cheap shots? It happens.
The wisdom that a good dad seeks to impart to his foolish children (and all children come into this world foolish) is wisdom the good dad best practices in his life.[2] Who would disagree with that?
Remember that Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived, made the catastrophic error of surrounding himself with women who weakened his resolve over time and succeeded in their goal of diverting him from the straight and narrow.
First Kings 11.4 records,
“For it came to pass, when Solomon was old, that his wives turned away his heart after other gods: and his heart was not perfect with the LORD his God, as was the heart of David his father.”
What did Solomon not do that he ought to have done? He ought not to have married those idolaters. But having married them, he ought to have declared, once and for all time, something along the line of, “That topic of conversation is inappropriate here, and we are not going to discuss that in this setting.”
Even if your Thanksgiving celebration is not conducted in your home, it will be shown in your presence. The same is true of Christmas. And if you are a father who functions as a father, certain comments and conduct are disrespectful in your presence and, therefore, inappropriate in your hearing.
This goes for any dad, Christian or not. If my father did not want to discuss issues he deemed inappropriate in his presence, he said so, and I complied. The same goes for me. And the same ought to go for you, dads.
Why? The design of certain words, phrases, declarations of opinion, and comments on specific topics and issues is intended to entice you away from the words of knowledge. It is unwise for you to subject yourself or allow those who are subject to you to be exposed without opposition to statements that are designed to lure you away from the words of knowledge.
This is not rocket science. This is bread and butter common sense. Wisdom demands that the path you are walking be decided upon by prayer to God, the study of God’s Word, reflection, and so forth, not by the embittered remarks and snide comments of anyone who has unresolved sin issues with God, God’s people, or anyone else.
If they want to discuss serious issues with you, they should be granted the opportunity. But not in a family celebration setting, where the gathering will either be spoiled by those upset, they cannot voice their inappropriate comments, or their inappropriate comments will be heard by those who will be harmed by hearing.
I know how I plan to deal with it, and most spiritual behavior is planned. We know that. The doorbell rings, and you answer the door. As you shake hands and embrace, because you know in advance who will try to do what, you whisper, “So glad to have you here. We are looking forward to a delightful time. So, let’s not even mention issues, groups, or people who are not here who you have a problem with. Okay? This is not the place or the time.”
Their reactions to your whispered comment will reveal to you what is more important to them: spending a wonderful time with you and others they claim to love on Thanksgiving or Christmas or using the clan get-together to advance their agenda of prying you somewhat away from God, the Church of God, the people of God, or whoever.
In short, especially you dads, practice the advice the Word of God shows you ought to be giving to your sons. Maybe you will have an opportunity to address the matter before tomorrow, or before the Christmas gathering. All the better.
There is never anything wrong with a dad reinforcing the fifth commandment, found in Exodus 20.12:
“Honour thy father and thy mother.”
I want you to enjoy the greatest Thanksgiving Day with family and friends and to be wonderfully blessed come Christmastime. But if you remain silent while someone speaks for you or others “err from the words of knowledge,” Thanksgiving will have been turned from a blessing into a curse.
Let us pray that this type of issue does not need to be addressed and that everyone who gathers will be focused on family and goodwill, whether they are believers in Christ.
But if you need to step up to nip something in the bud, to smother embers before a fire breaks out, to assert your nonnegotiable requirement to be treated with honor and respect, God gives you grace and wisdom to do so gently but with a firm and loving hand.
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[1] 1 Thessalonians 2.10-12
[2] Proverbs 22.15
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