Calvary Road Baptist Church
“PROVOKED TO WRATH”
Ephesians 6.4a
There is a reason why the phenomenon called “Promise Keepers” grew at such a fantastic rate in the United States back in the day, with men all over the country filling up convention centers and coliseums. It’s because there was a tremendous need in our nation for adult men to do in the lives of their children what only they could do.
Tragically, “Promise Keepers” was not the solution to the problem that beset us. “Promise Keepers” was a movement based upon ecumenical compromise and spiritual confusion. Instigated by a college football coach, it was a movement that strived to build unity on something other than truth and bring about a union of such disparate groups as Roman Catholics, Charismatics, and New Evangelical Protestants.
Since Amos 3.3 asks us the question, “Can two walk together, except they be agreed?” it is obvious to those with spiritual discernment that the men who were involved in “Promise Keepers” were in basic agreement about many, many things. But what they were not in agreement with God about, and therefore what we never could back then be in agreement with them about, is the Biblical doctrine of salvation, the Biblical doctrine of separation from sin and ungodliness and error, Biblical opposition to idolatry, the need for sinful men to be born again, and a whole host of other things.
It would be nice if you could solve real problems in the lives of children by simply getting a group of masculine guys together and convincing them that they really need to keep their promises. Scripture shows us, however, that men are basically liars and promise-breakers. So it was ultimately futile to try and persuade liars to begin speaking truth and to keep their promises.
What was really needed was for each lying and promise-breaking dad to turn from his sins and come to Jesus by faith and be saved. Once he was saved and indwelt by the Holy Spirit of God, he could then be challenged to be filled with the Holy Spirit, to submit to the Holy Spirit’s direction and control of his life, and to stop provoking his children to wrath by his lying and promise-breaking lifestyle.
What the Promise Keepers never attempted to address, perhaps because it is a much more pervasive and deeply rooted problem in men than lying, is fear. I become more and more astonished as I age at how significant a factor in most men’s lives is this issue of fear. My goodness, men are afraid of so many things. Look up the number of times in God’s Word the phrase “fear not” is found. It will surprise you how often God, the Son of God, angels of God, and men of God directed the fearful to “fear not.” It is a widespread affliction, reaching even to those in the Gospel ministry, if Paul’s rebuke to Timothy in Second Timothy 1.7 is an indication. Paul’s not so subtle rebuke of Timothy reads,
“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”
My strongly felt opinion is that children, especially sons, are as inflamed by their father’s fears as they are by their father’s lies. Children, especially sons, desperately want their dads to be heroic figures. And Christian dads can be heroic figures. But lost dads are so confused about such things that they imagine hunting, fishing, shooting, team sports, and trips to Disneyland or Knott’s Berry Farm meet a need in their child’s life. Not that time spent with dad is not important, with the best time spent with dad being time spent in worship, prayer, reading God’s Word, serving God, and demonstrating the Christian life lived to its fullest being most important. But dads who withhold such treasures from their children, and deny them what they most need from fathers (which is a godly influence), run the great risk of provoking their children to wrath.
This is especially true in households in which mothers do not show their children’s dads respect. Oh, the damage that is done by moms who disrespect fathers, and in front of their children. How infuriating it is to kids, both sons and daughters (but in different ways), to see moms acting that way, and when fathers passively allow such to occur without protest or anything like an appropriate response.
This brings me to the text of my message, Ephesians 6.4:
“And ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath.”
Lying and fear are not the only issues that sons and daughters have with their fathers, though they are prominent, in my opinion. I will address the second half of the verse in this message.
This command was directed to the men who were members of the Church at Ephesus. The reason? Only the saved men at Ephesus, only those men who trusted Jesus as their savior and were indwelt by the Holy Spirit of God, could possibly demonstrate the Spirit’s fullness in their lives by bringing to a halt, once and for all, the natural tendency of all men to provoke their children to wrath.
I am going to give to you men some examples to show you how you can, without much effort at all, provoke your child to wrath and take a few steps toward utterly destroying the life of your child. I think most kids cut their dads a great deal of slack, motivated by their love and compassion. A regular guy will usually be loved by his kids, perhaps even admired. But some men act like they were dipped in the stupid trough and do incredible things that are very provocative. I want to share some examples:
Example #1 is Isaac, the son of Abraham. Do you remember how Jacob, one of Isaac’s twin boys, deceived his dad and tricked Isaac into blessing him instead of his brother Esau? Why do you suppose that son, aged 70, would go so far as to trick and deceive his father the way he did, with his mother’s help? Simple. Isaac had provoked Jacob to wrath by showing extreme favoritism toward Esau for his skills as a hunter. Do you show favoritism to one of your children because he’s a better athlete, because he’s bigger and stronger than the others, because he’s rough and rugged and manly? Wouldn’t it be better, dad, to show favor for spiritual accomplishments instead?
Example #2 is Jacob, the son of Isaac. Isn’t it amazing that a son who suffered from his father’s favoritism became a father who showed favoritism? It seems strange, but his dad did a good job of teaching him how to provoke his son to wrath. Here’s how Jacob did it. At the time, he was married to two women, Leah and Rachel. But he had also sired children by Leah’s and Rachel’s handmaids. Because Rachel was the woman he loved, Jacob showed extreme favoritism toward her son, Joseph, and prejudice toward his other sons by the three other women. Sounds almost like a stepfather treating his own son by his wife better than the kids she had when he married her, doesn’t it? How did Jacob’s older sons react toward Joseph?
Genesis 37 shows how those sons, who were provoked to wrath, behaved. They sold Joseph into slavery because they hated him. But why did they hate him so much? Because he was the object of their father’s love, who did not show much love for them. And why did Jacob not show much love for his older sons? They were born to the wrong women, that’s why. There’s nothing better at provoking a child to wrath than refusing love and affection for a reason he can’t do anything about.
Example #3 is King David. Here is a list of things done by his sons who he had provoked to wrath: One son, Amnon, raped his half-sister, Tamar. Then Absalom murdered Amnon, his half-brother, for raping his sister Tamar. Then Absalom attempted to overthrow David’s rule in a violent civil war. Why did those sons have no respect for virtue and life? Because their daddy, the man of God, the sweet psalmist of Israel, had shown himself to be an adulterer and a murderer. All their lives they had looked up to dad as a godly, heroic man. And he had been. But when he fell he threw it all away and provoked his children to wrath.
Here is a composite example from many of my own observations as a pastor. Take a kid who attends Church and knows that his dad ought to live a certain way. He knows, for example, that his dad is supposed to take care of his family, especially if he claims to be a Christian. So, what happens when his father refuses, for one reason or another, to obey First Timothy 5.8? When that boy sees that his father is not doing everything in his power to take care of his family, to provide for his family so he will not be worse than an infidel, the boy will be provoked to wrath. Oh, dad has reasons for not feeding and clothing his family the way he ought to. But somehow the child knows that dad is just making excuses because, really, he knows in his heart that his dad is worse than an infidel.
Here is one I was made aware of only this week, while talking to a friend in another state. It seems a Church’s new pastor’s son was discovered distributing pornographic pictures to boys and girls in the Church. When the pastor was confronted about it by a dad whose child exposed the pastor’s son and asked what he planned on doing to resolve the matter with his son, the pastor said he would do nothing. The next step, of course, would be the pastor allowing his son to have a girlfriend spend the night.
Here is the last one. I could go on all day, but I’ll close with this one. Second Thessalonians 3.10 very clearly states that if a man doesn’t work, neither should he eat. But what happens to a kid who is willing to work and abide by God’s Word, and he sees that his dad is perfectly willing to subsidize the slothfulness of a brother or sister who won’t do anything? It’s not his fault that dad feels guilty for not having been a better dad to the lazy sluggard and can’t find the grit to obey God’s Word. It’s not his fault that dad refuses to trust God to know what’s best for someone, regardless of what sins were committed against him in the past. All the diligent child knows is that dad is being unjust, dad is doing wrong, dad is not treating them equitably. The motive? It is likely fear.
Son, daughter, recognize that there is no excuse acceptable to God for failing to honor your parents and obey them. But dad, you have to realize that your children have a standard for you to live up to. And it’s right for your children to expect you to do right, and to expect you to obey God’s Word, and to expect you to provide for your family, and to expect you to treat them equitably.
Conversely, it’s wrong of you to wrong your child. It’s wrong of you to disobey God’s Word in front of your kids. It’s wrong of you to betray your children’s trust. It’s wrong of you to not be man enough to right your wrongs, not to ask forgiveness of your kids when you sin against them, or to withhold from them the love and affection they crave and must have.
Dad, don’t provoke your little girl or your little boy to wrath. And how can you avoid provoking your child to wrath? There is only one path to take. Make really sure you are converted to Christ. Then, make really sure you consciously and constantly submit to the leadership, the guidance, and the direction of the Holy Spirit of God. Be a Bible believer. But even more, be a Bible doer. And if you’ve already provoked your child to wrath by being untruthful or fearful or some other thing, humbly ask for forgiveness while giving no excuses or justifications for your wrongdoing. Then, with the passage of time and your commitment to doing right and serving God, you’ll win back your child’s heart. Or perhaps you’ll win your child’s heart for the first time.
Genesis 1.26 and 27 indicates that in the beginning God made man in His image and after His likeness. Not that we bear any physical resemblance to God at all, since He is a spirit and we are flesh and blood. But in our souls we are like God, after a fashion, even though we are sinners and He is holy. This being the case, it strikes me as noteworthy that children can be provoked to wrath by their fathers. When a son or daughter is provoked to wrath by their father that child is, at that moment, displaying a characteristic that is somewhat similar to God. Although children are sometimes provoked to wrath by that which is not sinful in their father, such provocation to wrath is still somewhat similar to God, except for the sinfulness of the child.
Be reminded, then, every time you see children provoked to wrath by their father, every time you see a little boy cry with exasperation when his father plays too rough with him, or when a little girl is crushed by the realization that her dad doesn’t love her enough to read to her or help her with her homework, such wrath as you see in the child serves to remind you that God, too, can be provoked to wrath. I know that consideration of the wrath of God is unpopular in this day when everyone wants to deny the terror of the Lord, when everyone wants to ignore the august majesty of the great God of the Bible. However, the Lord Jesus said that it was the truth that sets men free, so it’s the truth about the wrath of God that you’ll get in this message.
First, THE REALITY OF GOD’S WRATH
Deny it if you will, God is a God of wrath. A study of Scripture, both historical passages and prophetic passages, reveals that God’s wrath can be easily categorized in the following ways:
First, there is God’s wrath poured out in time. When God brought the Flood to destroy the whole earth and all her inhabitants, except for eight people who were saved in the Ark, He was demonstrating His wrath in the midst of time. When God brought fire from heaven upon Nadab and Abihu, the sons of Aaron, for offering strange fire before the LORD, that, too, was an example of wrath in the midst of time. Those and other events, however, occurred in time past. Examples of wrath poured out in future time are found throughout the book of the Revelation. Fire and brimstone, men stung by scorpion-like creatures and begging for a death that is denied them, diseases and plagues. All of these are examples of wrath poured out in time. But there is yet another example of wrath in time: Hell. Remember the rich man who died and was buried? And in Hell he lift up his eyes, being in torments? He cried out, “I am tormented in these flames.” Multiplied millions of people are presently suffering the wrath of God in Hell, right this very minute. Hell is God’s wrath poured out in time.
The worst, however, will be God’s wrath poured out over eternity. God’s wrath throughout the ceaseless ages of eternity will occur in a place called the lake of fire. That is where, when time shall be no more, the ultimate expression of God’s fury and rage will be experienced by those who are condemned to suffer there. What will God’s wrath there be like? In Matthew 25.46 the Lord Jesus Christ describes it as “everlasting punishment.” Jude 13 describes it as “the blackness of darkness forever.” The writer of Hebrews states it this way in Hebrews 10.31:
“It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.”
We know more about Hell from God’s Word than we do the lake of fire. Hell is a place of constant and conscious torment. It’s a place of agony and guilt and regret and remorse. And from what little we do know of the lake of fire, it differs from Hell in two ways: First, it will be worse. And second, unlike Hell which will give up its guests in about 1007 years, the lake of fire is forever.
Next, THE REASON FOR GOD’S WRATH
The Bible declares you to be a sinner. Your behavior shows you to be a sinner. Deny and protest all you like, the fact remains that as a sinner you do those things which offend God. Sin wrongs God. Take note of how sin wrongs God.
Sin declares that there is not a sufficiency of good in God for the satisfying of your soul. Every time you sin you declare that there is not enough good in God, that is, the blessed, glorious, all-sufficient, eternal, unchangeable good and fountain of all good. But it seems this is not enough for you, so your soul seeks satisfaction in sin. Why else would you commit sin except because you don’t think God is good enough and satisfying enough for you? Such a statement, if only announced by your actions, greatly wrongs and offends God.
Second, you wrong God by your sin because He is both omniscient and omnipresent. That is, God is both all-knowing and everywhere present. This being so, how dare you commit before the very face of God that which He hates? Perhaps what you do you will not do in front of a child, because you know it to be wrong. But you will do it before the face of the infinite and blessed God. In effect, you are casting that which is filthy before His Presence. Thus, you wrong God.
Thirdly, you wrong God in His way of wisdom. Think about it. When you commit sin you profess that in your estimation God’s ways are not ways of wisdom, but that you know better what is proper for you than God does. How do you think God feels when your actions challenge His wisdom?
Fourthly, when you commit sin you throw dirt on the holiness of God. Holiness is the brightness of God’s glory. And in the ways of sin you cast dirt upon the face of holiness itself. God’s nature is pure, but your sin is filthy and vile and contrary to Him. Your sin does what it can to darken the brightness of the infinite holiness of God.
Fifthly, you wrong God in sin in that you set up your will above the will of God. God’s will is to rule both the actions and the ways of His creatures. But you come and decide to set your will above God’s will. How do you react when your child rebels against your will, or when an employee chooses his own will over yours? Consider, then, God’s reaction when you set your will over His.
Sixthly, sin wrongs God in authority. Imagine those who would not dare do anything to displease a judge in his court room, or a police officer looking for suspects at the scene of a crime, or a heavily armed soldier in a war zone. Yet that same man who would cower before a judge, or a police officer, or a soldier, will think nothing of filling his mouth with profanity and blasphemy before the almighty God. How must God respond to that sinner who counts another human as being more awesome and terror inspiring than the King of all glory?
Seventhly, there is wrong done to God’s justice when you sin. How so? In part, sin wrongs God’s justice because you are not afraid to sin against God. You see, God expects that every man should fear Him because of His justice. Additionally, when you sin you are behaving as though your ways are more equitable and just than God’s ways. But God says, in Ezekiel 18.29,
“What, are not my ways equal, are not your ways unequal?”
How do you suppose God is to respond when one of His creatures behaves as though he is more equitable and just than God?
Finally, when you sin you wrong God in His truth. When you sin you are demonstrating that all of God’s warnings against wrongdoing are lies. There is nothing to avoid. There is nothing to fear. No punishment is forthcoming. Will God punish the wicked? Is it a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God? Your sin says “No.” Your sin says God is not to be taken seriously. Ignore Him when He urges you to flee from the wrath to come. Pay no heed to His command to turn away from sin and seek forgiveness and cleansing from Christ.
Your sin wrongs God in these eight ways. The reason, then, for God’s wrath is simple to see, easy to understand. God is a reasonable God. His wrath, leveled against sinners, is retaliation, is revenge, is retribution, and is right.
Finally, THE RECIPIENT OF GOD’S WRATH
There are three recipients of God’s limitless, unimaginable, furious, wrath.
First, there is Satan. It is understandable that this vile being, who at one time was the most beautiful and most perfect of God’s creatures, and who personally brought sin into God’s pristine universe in a willful and rebellious way, should suffer God’s wrath. We have no trouble seeing that, since Satan is evil incarnate. It is also understandable and reasonable that the host of angels who followed him into sin against their good and wise Creator should, likewise, suffer the torments of perpetual condemnation.
Second, there is the Sinner. It is also quite understandable that God would be provoked to wrath against so wicked a race as man, who does only continually attack Him, malign Him, seek to subvert Him, and rebel against Him. But do you realize that you are such a person as this, my friend? Commit one sin against God and you attack Him in the eight ways I previously mentioned. One lie, one adulterous thought, one blasphemous utterance, one act of disobedience against God or His agent in your life (such as your parents), stealing one thing one time. You, sinner, will understandably and reasonably suffer the wrath of God, in Hell as well as throughout eternity in the lake of fire.
It is reasonable that Satan suffer God’s wrath. It is reasonable that sinners suffer God’s wrath. But it is astonishing that the Savior should suffer God’s wrath. However, that is just what He did when He died on Calvary’s cross. The Son of God came from heaven’s glory, born of a virgin named Mary, to do that which saves sinners like you and like me, who have so violently offended God. Isaiah tells us that the Lord hath laid on the Savior the iniquity of us all. Paul tells us that Jesus became sin for us, He Who knew no sin. It was on that cruel Roman cross that God poured out on His Own Son all His pent-up rage and fury, all His wrath. Why did Jesus suffer so and shed His blood? Why did God the Father do that to His Son? The answer is love. Love that provided a way for wicked, Hell-deserving, sinners to be washed clean in the blood of Christ and be saved.
God’s wrath is real. It has been shown in the past, it will be shown again in the future on a massive scale, and it will be shown throughout all eternity.
What is the reason for God’s wrath? God is wrathful because He is reasonable. It is only reasonable that such a God as He, so sinned against as He has been sinned against, would vent His wrath against those who have attacked Him without reason, who have offended Him without cause, who have besmirched His character without justification.
So, it is not unthinkable that Satan and his wicked minions should suffer the lake of fire for all eternity. Neither is it beyond reason that you and I and other sinners would deserve the full brunt of God’s punishment. But what is amazing is that Jesus would suffer God’s wrath. And to what end did Jesus suffer the wrath of God? To bring about the salvation from sin of some sinners. Some. Will you, my friend, be one of those who Jesus saves?
Question? Comment?
Would you like to contact Dr. Waldrip about this sermon? Fill out the form below to send him an email. Thank you.