Calvary Road Baptist Church
“PREFERENTIAL TREATMENT”
Romans 12.10b
One of the most important character traits that develop in the Christian through time and maturity is balance. So characteristic is balance in the life of the mature Christian that being out of balance is a sure giveaway that a person is spiritually immature. But we never see anything described as “balance” in our study of God’s Word. This is because what we mean by the term “balance” is an approximation of some aspects of the behavior that is exhibited by spiritually mature individuals but which is not exhibited by spiritually immature individuals.
About doctrine, Ephesians 4.14 describes the spiritually immature as those who are “tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine.” This is someone who runs from one theological hobby horse to the next. For six months he is on a crusade about this Biblical truth. Let’s say he’s fighting the Arian heresy. Then, for another nine months, he wages a campaign against Antinomianism. Examined in isolation, this believer may be entirely correct in each situation. The Arian heresy of the Jehovah’s Witnesses needs to be combated. And the Antinomianism of the Charismatic movement is a classic error. But the fact that he is first this way and then that, emphasizing this and then that, indicates that he is spiritually immature and gets doctrinally out of balance very easily.
Hebrews 5.13-14 sheds light on this same phenomenon in the realm, not so much of doctrine, but discernment. Noting that spiritually immature Christians are unskillful in their use of Scripture, the writer of Hebrews declares to his readers that mature believers “have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil.” The implication that might be drawn from this passage is that the spiritually immature person, who gets out of balance doctrinally, also gets out of balance in the areas of wisdom and discernment. An example from the home front:
The case of the guilty careerists. Husband and wife have a child when they are young and ambitious and eager to climb the corporate ladder or build the world’s largest Church. But about the time they realize they are not going to chair the board of I. B. M. or pastor the world’s largest Church they do notice that their child is grown, without a great deal of input from them. And now that they are ready to provide their input, having realigned their objectives, the child doesn’t want their input. Let me give you a classic out of balance response by the spiritually immature. They have a second child, years later. So determined are they not to repeat the mistakes they made with the first child that they quite literally go overboard and are out of balance in the other direction their second time around. Only now, instead of having a rather independent child who doesn’t want their influence because he is used to fending for himself, they are creating an even bigger monster by convincing their second child that he is the center of the very universe and that his every whim will be catered to by his parents. The danger with the second child? Megalomania.
I make these comments about being out of balance in the realm of doctrine and discernment because the focus of our attention during this evening’s study of Paul’s letter to the Romans also has to do with being out of balance. But in our text, Paul’s comments do not seek so much to combat the error of being out of balance doctrinally, or in the exercise of discernment, but to combat the error of being out of balance in the proper display of Christian love.
Children are remarkable in their capacity to love their parents and other authority figures. But the single most difficult thing for them to comprehend when expressing love to authority figures is that the expression of love for those authority figures, whether it be parents or teachers or pastors, does not give them the right to be disrespectful. Children, you see, because of their immaturity, don’t realize that proper respect must accompany love, and they quickly get out of balance in their display of love. And when you correct them and insist that they show you proper respect, they are shocked and amazed. But corrected they must be to ever mature to the point of expressing love with proper balance.
So it is within the Christian congregation. We recognize the importance of love. But because growing congregations are necessarily immature, since so many are younger Christians, we must constantly relearn some of the lessons associated with showing love. And an important one in our day and time? The lesson that love that is not balanced with respect for the person loved is out of balance. I suppose a more concise way of stating what Paul wishes to communicate would be to recognize that genuine love is always accompanied by respect for the person who is loved.
This means that the husband who slaps his wife around doesn’t really love her. The wife who criticizes her husband to others doesn’t really love him. Because people who respect each other do not treat each other that way. And if respect is not present genuine love isn’t present, either. So, you decide that you want to love your brothers and sisters in Christ? Do you want to operate within the Biblical context of a local Church? And, to properly love your co-congregants, you want to develop a healthy respect for other individuals? And you trust that the lessons on love learned here will be properly applied to your family life and in other arenas?
The question is, then, how do you develop respect for people that is not based on worldly considerations such as wealth, position, intelligence, good looks, athletic ability, and such the like? How do you learn to highly esteem, how do you learn to obey Paul’s admonition of Romans 12.10, “in honor preferring one another”?
It takes commitment, my friend. It takes three commitments. Let’s look at them.
THE FIRST COMMITMENT THAT MUST BE MADE BY THE CHRISTIAN WHO WOULD RESPECT THE PERSON HE LOVES IS CONSECRATION TO CHRIST
Hebrews 11.25-26:
25 Choosing rather to suffer affliction with the people of God, than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a season;
26 Esteeming the reproach of Christ greater riches than the treasures in Egypt: for he had respect unto the recompence of the reward.
We understand that Moses lived, and served God, and died more than 1500 hundred years before the Lord Jesus Christ walked the earth. So, the author of Hebrews, by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, is interpreting the actions of Moses and showing us how those actions relate to the Lord Jesus Christ, even before the Savior came to die for the sins of Moses. The writer of Hebrews could do this because Moses was, by faith, a child of God who looked forward to the salvation that God’s Messiah would provide, as our faith looks back to the salvation that God’s Messiah has provided.
Those things said, let us take notice of what Moses did and how it was interpreted by the inspired writer of Hebrews. According to verse 25, Moses made a choice, didn’t he? Of the two groups of people that he had a choice to keep company with, to identify with, which group did he choose? He chose God’s people over the pleasures of sin for a season.
How does verse 26 interpret the decision of verse 25? Verse 26 is an inspired interpretation of verse 25, showing us that the decision of Moses to identify with God’s people was “esteeming the reproach of Christ greater than the treasures in Egypt” and having “respect unto the recompense of the reward.”
I submit to you that Moses’ decision in Hebrews 11.25 is interpreted in Hebrews 11.26 as consecration to Jesus Christ by the real author of Hebrews, the Holy Spirit of God. And in which direction do such things as this go, from the outside in or from the inside out? It was not Moses’ decision to choose the Israelites that resulted in consecration to Christ. It was the other way around. It was his consecration to Christ which resulted in his choosing of the Israelites.
To apply this truth to our situation today, I would say this: When you consecrate yourself to Jesus Christ, when you commit yourself to His service and to worship and glorify Him, you are committing yourself to His people, you are choosing His people over those people out there, no less than Moses did. So, before you ever choose us, before you ever choose to love us, and particularly before you ever choose to show us the respect and honor that must accompany real love, you must be personally consecrated to Jesus Christ. The question is, “are you?” If you are not personally consecrated to Jesus Christ you don’t really love me, and you can’t really respect me.
THE SECOND COMMITMENT THAT MUST BE MADE BY THE CHRISTIAN WHO WOULD RESPECT THE PERSON HE LOVES IS CONCERN FOR CHRISTIANS
Philippians 2.3-5:
3 Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.
4 Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.
5 Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus.
This passage takes us just a little father in the development of our understanding than did Hebrews 11.25-26. Whereas in Hebrews we saw the requirement of consecration to Christ, in this passage we see the response of concern for Christians. But, whereas Hebrews shows us the decision Moses made as a result of his consecration to Christ to identify with God’s people, Philippians is an epistle that is written to believers who are already set in the context of the congregation. They have already publicly chosen God’s people over the unbelievers of this world.
Within the context of the congregation, where love is properly learned like it can be learned nowhere else, we see that the second commitment to be made has to do with concern for Christians. It’s one thing to identify with God’s people in a Church such as ours out of a desire to obey Christ and serve Him. But that’s consecration to Him without necessarily being concerned about His people.
Philippians 2.3 shows us that consecration to Christ is expressed as concern for Christ’s own. Without fussing with each other, and without being proud, but being humble instead, esteem others better than yourself. Show respect toward others more than you show respect for yourself. Honor others more than you would seek honor for yourself.
Let me give you an example of how this might work out, using an example from another part of the year: Let’s say we had a great time at our watch night service. Several testimonies were given indicating that our New Year’s Eve time of preaching and fellowship really helped some people deal with the temptations to sin that are available at that time of year. Let’s also say that a number of you showed up, not because you liked staying up late on New Year’s Eve, and not because you looked forward to a particularly thrilling time here at Church. You came because you esteemed others better than yourselves. And instead of doing something that was totally self-serving and self-gratifying you actually ministered to others by your presence. In addition to a personal consecration to Christ, you exhibited a willingness to go the distance and demonstrate a concern for the Christians in this Church by being here. You encouraged our preachers. You encouraged our other members. You encouraged our children. Thank you.
How would this tie into showing respect, to honoring? Think about it. Why will some men do for others what they will not do for their wives? Surely they love their wives. They think they do. But what evokes displays of respect, of honor, is not love, but concern. You may not love President Trump, but you are concerned enough about him to show him respect when he walks into the room. Becoming concerned and showing concern for others in the Church is a major step toward learning to prefer one another in honor.
Finally, IN ORDER TO SHOW RESPECT FOR THAT PERSON YOU WOULD LOVE, YOU MUST COMMIT YOURSELF TO THE PROPER CONSIDERATION OF CHRISTIAN LEADERS
First Thessalonians 5.12-13:
12 And we beseech you, brethren, to know them which labour among you, and are over you in the Lord, and admonish you;
13 And to esteem them very highly in love for their work’s sake. And be at peace among yourselves.
To “in honor prefer one another” I have stated that you need to esteem Christ, you need to esteem others, and you need to esteem your Christian leaders very highly in love for the work’s sake. Consecration to Christ. Concern for Christians. Consideration for Christian leaders. Why is this third place in the New Testament where this particular word for “esteem” is used is just as important as the last point made?
First, because our ministry involves admonishing you, how in the world will our admonishing of you to honor others be received if you do not honor those who admonish you? Without respect for your pastors, the words of the pastors fall on deaf ears. Amen?
Second, we ought to be the easiest people in the congregation to have respect for. I know some congregations do not major on the instruction of God’s Word. But in this congregation, which does so strongly emphasize the preaching and teaching of Scripture, our striving to skillfully use Scripture should make it quite a bit easier for you to respect and highly esteem us than perhaps other congregations.
Third, you ought to highly esteem us because you are commanded to do so by God’s Word. And not because of who we are. Because of what we are and what we represent. Someone accompanied Harry Truman one time when a military band struck up “Hail To The Chief,” which is played whenever the president arrives. Truman remarked to the man, “Never forget. That song is played for the presidency, not for the president.” Honor should be for the ministry, not for the minister. Amen?
Finally, you should honor me because my properly exercised ministry enables you, folks, to be at peace among yourselves. I guarantee you that only two conditions ever precede the outbreak of peace between people. First, there is peace when there is total domination by one over the other. When one is a ruler, and the other is a slave then there is peace. And second, there is peace when there is mutual respect between people.
I am convinced that there is a correlation between the proper exercise of a pastoral ministry, and the proper involvement of Christians in a pastor’s ministry, and the showing of respect, the demonstration of honor, to those you would love. This, then, brings about the peace dividend that Christians want.
“But Pastor, we showed you how much we respect you when we threw a party for you and gave you a nice Christmas gift.” No, you didn’t. I very much appreciated that party. The gift was wonderful, and my family and I had a great time. But that party was not a demonstration of respect. It was a demonstration of love and affection.
Showing respect is not when you meet needs and wants. That’s love. Respect is when you honor me by treating as important what I believe is important. To illustrate: I think it’s important for Christians to attend all the services. To honor me is to treat as important what I believe to be important. You honor me when you attend the services even though you don’t think you need to because you respect my opinion of what’s good for you.
Most everyone in a Church loves their pastor. Far, far fewer in a Church will honor their pastor. And the tragedy is that someone can get by without loving their pastor. But unless there are respect and a high esteem for the man, the ministry, folks will not heed his call to consecration to Christ as they ought, will not respond to his admonition to show concern for Christians as they ought, and will not experience the peace among themselves, in the home or in the Church, that they might have.
“in honour preferring one another.”
This speaks of respectful treatment of one another, the one another most definitely not referring to the unsaved friends and family members you might have. Thus, when it comes down to brass tacks and hard choices have to be made, the Word of God directs us to show a preference for others in the household of faith over those we know who are unsaved.
Not to say that I would not miss a Church event to celebrate a birthday with my lost brother or niece. But I dare not conduct myself in such a way that my lost loves do not know there they stand in the pecking order of my Christian life priorities. They come in second.
Why so? What’s the reasoning behind that? You must figure out a way to display to your lost friends and family the conviction you have that Christ is preeminent and that you are convinced you will spend all eternity with your Christian family and not your next of kin.
How do you tell them that? Sure, you must tell them that. But once that it does you must show them that with the repeated reminders where your allegiance lies. You must keep ever before them the reminders that you stand in solidarity with God, with your Savior, and with your brothers and sisters in Christ.
“But some of them are guilty of misconduct!” And your family members have never done wrong, yet they demand your undying loyalty? Salvation is by grace, so your Christian brotherhood relationships are gracious, as well. That means, Christians sometimes do despicable things, yet they and we are still in God’s family.
My recommendation? Since most spiritual behavior is planned, I would urge upon you two considerations: First, decide right now to treat everyone courteously and respectfully, even if they have hurt you and even if you do not like them. Be bigger than that and conduct yourself accordingly. Don’t be small. Second, decide now that God’s grace and Christ’s blood will always count for more with you than any family ties or relationships. Always. If someone in your family makes the mistake of demanding that you choose sides, it should be a forgone conclusion that they learn early on and decide to live with that you have already decided you are on the Lord’s side.
Love everyone.
Try to be nice to everyone.
But in the end, if they make you come down on one side or the other, it can only be that you come down on the Lord’s side and with the Lord’s people.
Question? Comment?
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