We Are Family

“WE ARE FAMILY”

Romans 12.10a

How many of you folks are baseball fans who are old enough to remember when the Pittsburgh Pirates last won the World Series? Do you also remember who the first baseman and slugger was at the plate who provided the on-the-field leadership for the other players on that team? He grew up in Los Angeles.

Right. It was a man named Willie Stargell. Willie Stargell, who is now in the Baseball Hall of Fame, I think, became the player all the other players on the team looked to after Roberto Clemente was killed in a plane crash on December 31, 1972. But, during that regular season in which the Pirates dominated the other National League teams, it was Stargell who captured the imagination of the team, and the entire city of Pittsburgh, with the immortal phrase “We Are Family.” Do you remember that, baseball fans?

Here is another anecdote. Not being much of a television watcher back in the day, unless I was over at someone else’s house, I would often listen to the radio in the evening while I was reading. And what do I remember hearing after a USC basketball game one evening in which one of the players was being interviewed, but the comment by the player stating that the USC basketball team ended every team huddle by saying “1-2-3, we are family.”

The player was responding to a question about playing over Christmas break in Florida and missing his family during the Christmas season. He said the then coach at USC, George Raveling, was teaching them that the basketball team was their family and that they would learn how to play better basketball and win more basketball games if they thought of each other as family and loved each other and played unselfishly.

Both examples from the sports world, in which the family relationship was taken and used for mercenary purposes, nevertheless, shows us some of the beneficial consequences of operating within a family situation. But that was before America’s family units being targeted for destruction by leftists using government policies designed to be destructive to the nuclear family were as effective as they are now.

I don’t think Willie Stargell or George Raveling were being consciously devious in their attempts to capitalize on what people would do in those days for the family they happened to be in, but let’s be straight with each other. The concept of family is far more important than athletic games, even when the games are professional sports such as Major League baseball or Division One college basketball. And if you can squeeze superior dedication and performance from professional athletes, and more enthusiasm from their fans, by use of the family analogy, just imagine what you ought to be able to do within the context of a real family, a legitimate family, understood in its Biblical context?

In our studies of Romans chapter 12 Paul explains what type of behavior is to be logically and reasonably expected from wicked and unworthy sinners who have been graciously given a righteous standing before God, who have been included in God’s plan of the ages, and who have been drawn into God’s close circle of fellowship. Toward God, we who are now Christians are to respond to God’s grace toward us by wholly and fully surrendering ourselves to His will, in both mind and body. And toward other human beings, detailed instructions are given to us since we would not know how to behave toward other people without the wise and knowledgeable counsel of God.

So far in our study, we have looked at God’s instructions to Christians regarding their behavior toward other believers, especially within the context of the Church congregation. In Romans 12.3-8 Paul alluded to the congregation being a body and showed how interdependent a Church like ours is, and how we are to use our spiritual gifts to minister to each other within the body. From Romans 12.9 onward Paul addresses the engine that powers the proper use of our spiritual gifts. That engine, that drive, that motivation to properly minister to other Christians, is our love for one another. But how to love? We must love properly to serve God properly. The question is: How do we love?

In the first part of Romans 12.9, Paul begins to answer that question. Genuine love is expressed without the veil of hypocrisy: “Let love be without dissimulation.” In the second part of Romans 12.9, he continues by showing that love is discerning: “Abhor that which is evil; cleave to that which is good.” In our text for this message, which is the first half of Romans 12.10, Paul shows us the very best context in which love is expressed, the family. Once you arrive at our text, I invite you to stand with me and read Romans 12.10a:

“Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love.”

When we are kindly affectioned one to another, and when we show brotherly love one to another, we are showing genuine Christian love that acknowledges and best operates within the context of the family relationship that exists in the Christian congregation.

As we examine this portion of God’s Word, think about this: If astute and successful coaches recognize the value of appealing to an artificial family relationship as a demonstrably effective way of getting the most out of their athletes, how much more ought we to recognize the tremendous value of our genuine and real Church family as an environment in which God’s love can be best expressed?

Notice the three identifiable traits that love, operating within the Church family, exhibits:

THE FIRST TRAIT THAT IS EXHIBITED BY LOVE, AS SEEN FROM THIS PARTICULAR VANTAGE POINT, IS RECOGNITION

There are two words in Paul’s statement which draw attention to the fact that he is describing love within the context of a family. The phrase “brotherly love” comes from a word many of us are familiar with, “philadelphia.” The first half of the word “philadelphia” is one of the Greek words for “love,” and the second half of the word is the Greek word for “brother.” That’s how the city of Philadelphia adopted its motto “the city of brotherly love.”

Then there’s the phrase “kindly affectioned.” Again, translating a single Greek compound word, the first half of the word is the same Greek word for love found in “philadelphia.” But the second half of the word comes from a Greek verb which refers to a husband’s love for his wife or a wife’s love for her husband. Put these two Greek words together, and you have an interesting word that strongly suggests love being expressed within a family unit. So, although we are supposed to be “kindly affectioned” toward everyone, the word found here, and the context in which it is found specifically relates to love being expressed within a family type of environment.

But Paul is not referring to what we normally think of like a family in this sentence. He is not referring to mommies or daddies and brothers or sisters in the conventional sense. His reference is to another kind of family. And if you ever hope to express love appropriately, you need to arrive at an appreciation for the family unit Paul is referring to here. And how can you do this? By recognition:

First, recognition of our sire. Though religious liberals are often criticized for their fixation on the universal fatherhood of God and the universal brotherhood of man, we must recognize that the Bible does teach, in one sense, that God is the Father of all men and that all men are brothers in that sense. Understand, however, that such kinship as this is not spiritual kinship. It is kinship based solely upon the fact that God is the Creator of all men and that all men have been created in the image of God. Being in the human family, in this sense, does neither you nor me any good whatsoever. Membership in this family only guarantees eternal Hellfire.

But there is another kind of reference to the fatherhood of God in the Bible. It is what Christians usually mean when we refer to the family of God. John 1.12 teaches us that those who receive Jesus Christ as our Savior become the “Sons of God, even to them that believe on” the name of Jesus. Do you want to learn how to express genuine and abiding love, Christian? Then you’d better heed the advice of Proverbs 1.8 to “hear the instruction of thy father,” recognizing that when it comes to learning how to behave properly in the family of God, learning how to love those in our Church family, we’d better recognize and respond to our Father in heaven. Amen?

Second, recognition of our siblings. To learn how to properly express Christian love, we need to learn how to recognize who our brothers and sisters are. And why do I say this? Because of what is often passed off as Christian love by those who pass themselves off as our brothers and sisters in Christ. Dearly beloved, not all who say they are Christians know Jesus Christ as their personal Savior. And not everything which is purported to be love is really loving, as we see in this present series of messages. How do you tell who is and who is not a family member? It’s quite simple. Is that person a part of the congregation you serve in? Remembering that Paul is writing to Christians in Rome, who were involved in many different congregations, he is telling them how to express love within that organizational unit in which they serve God. That said, do not automatically assume that because someone attends the same Church you do, he or she is a brother or sister in Christ.

Real family relationship, in this context, is someone who is genuinely born again. Not just someone who appears to be a part of that congregation through which you serve God. And how do you evaluate the spiritual condition of someone who goes to your Church? In two ways: His beliefs and his behavior. Wrong beliefs indicate spiritual trouble. And then there’s behavior. If you behave improperly, improper beliefs are the reason. If someone doesn’t act like family or believe like family, she probably isn’t family.

Finally, recognition of your self. You hear a great deal these days about self-esteem and learning how to love yourself. But I wonder how many people who talk about the importance of good self-esteem or of learning how to love themselves have ever made a thorough study of the subject in God’s Word. Remembering that Paul instructs us not to think more highly of ourselves than we ought to think, in Romans 12.3, let us take note of the self-image of two great men of God: Job and Paul. Job stated that he abhorred himself and repented in dust and ashes, and Paul recognized that in him dwelt no good thing.[1] This in no way denies that obvious skills and abilities God gives to everyone are possessed. It doesn’t pretend that each of us does not possess certain competencies. But it does illustrate that regarding the arena that counts, the eternal arena, the spiritual arena, before our holy God, we are nothing and we have nothing in and of ourselves.

Indeed, so confused are most Christians on this point of self-esteem and self-love that we frequently overlook the fact that when dealing with the issue of love in Ephesians 5.28, 29, 33 Paul takes for granted the reality that everyone loves himself quite enough. Our problem is learning to love others as much as we love ourselves. So, recognize some things, Christian, so that you might learn how to love. Recognize who your Father is, to Whom you owe allegiance. Second, recognize who your siblings are, to whom you owe unique expressions of God-given love. And finally, recognize who and what you are, not according to man’s estimations, but according to God’s Word. Love recognizes these family relationships we are in.

THE SECOND IDENTIFIABLE TRAIT THAT IS EXHIBITED BY LOVE IS RESPONSE

Since Paul has already provided direction for our proper response to God considering our salvation, we know that the response of love that he speaks of in this sentence is toward men. But not all men. Only toward Church family. Let me state the obvious about expressing love for the lost before focusing in on love’s response to Church family.

First, understand that unsaved people are unqualified to be recipients of our spiritual gift ministry. I did not say unworthy since even Christians are unworthy of God’s blessings. I said unqualified. Remember, Paul has already spoken to the issue of who you are to minister to with your spiritual gifts. Romans 12.3-8 shows us that our spiritual gifts ministry is to be directed to those believers in our congregation. Since we are to use our spiritual gifts to minister to believers and the use of spiritual gifts is guided and motivated by genuine love, we’d better be able to recognize who our brothers and sisters are from among all those who say they are. Amen? I say this because those who are not our spiritual siblings are not qualified to receive our spiritual gifts ministries.

Why are they not qualified? It’s a simple matter of understanding what purpose gifts are given for. Spiritual gifts are to be used to build up one another in the faith. How can you build up someone in the faith who is not in the faith? You cannot. What, then, do we do towards those who are not the primary targets of our spiritual gift ministry? Since they are unqualified to receive our spiritual gifts ministries, we do not mistreat them. Rather, we evangelize them, because they need to be saved; not comforted, taught, or exhorted. And here is where I have a real bone to pick with televangelists and radio Bible evangelists. They spend so much of their time involved in teaching ministries and fail to deliver pointed and powerful presentations of the Gospel to an audience that they must recognize to be predominantly lost, even though they are involved in the religion of Christianity. This reflects as significant a flaw in their understanding of the proper use of spiritual gifts as is seen in the charismatic and Pentecostal communities.

Where in the world did Christians get the unscriptural notion that spiritual gifts were to be used by a person on himself, such as the charismatics and Pentecostals maintain in their false display of what they erroneously assume to be the gift of tongues? And now the notion that spiritual gifts were given to be used for the benefit of lost people. Though benefit does result in the life of the person who uses a spiritual gift, he is never encouraged in the Bible to use his gift to personally benefit himself. Self-edification is an unscriptural notion. Consecration and service are what believers are supposed to be all about. Likewise, spiritual gifts, generally, are not given to minister to the lost. The only two exceptions, the gift of tongues and the interpretation of tongues, seem never to be used these days by those who claim to have the gifts to evangelize the unsaved Jewish people for whom they were specifically designed to impact.

To summarize, then, don’t minister to unsaved people as though they were believers. They are not qualified. Instead, seek to bring them to Jesus Christ. After all, it’s impossible to exhort, to comfort, to edify in any way, someone who is spiritually dead.

On the other hand, believers, especially those involved in your own local Church, are qualified. How are we qualified when unbelievers are not? We are qualified, not by anything that we have done, but because of what God has done for us. We who are alive from the dead, different from those dead in trespasses and sins, can be comforted, can be exhorted, can be taught, can be helped, can be served. And since the primary motivation for the exercise of spiritual gifts is love, you are expressing love when you minister to believers with your spiritual gifts in a way that you really cannot to unbelievers. Oh, you can try to minister to unbelievers, as some do. But it accomplishes nothing for eternity for the lost man to comfort him. He may feel better in the short term. But it has helped him not one bit for eternity. And let me say something about your emotional state when expressing love to us here in the body.

Remember, though love is not governed by emotions, it can be, it often is, and on certain occasions, it must be, emotional in its expression. Look back to our two words “kindly affectioned” and “brotherly love.” Does that not evoke a mental picture that is colored with tender emotion? I think so. Paul is painting a mental picture here, drawing a parallel between something many of us are familiar with to describe for us the kind of love that is supposed to exist between Christians. Unless you were without natural affection before you were converted, like I was, you have wonderful memories of the love and loyalty that you and your brothers and sisters shared. And there is the wonderful love of husband for wife and wife for husband. Does it rise to the level of God-given love? No, but it is an approximation. This is love that can be warm and accepting, love that can be loyal and protective, love that can be friendly and comfortable with each other. That’s the way you are supposed to love me. That’s the way you are supposed to love those you disciple or those other people’s babies you care for in the nursery.

I remember a boy asking someone in our Church why we always called each other “brother” all the time. That’s good. He noticed a term of endearment and kinship among our men. I think it would be good to have a similar term of endearment for our precious sisters in Christ. After you have recognized who your Father is, and after you have recognized who and what you are, and after you have recognized others in the family, love them. Of course, you are to love God, but that’s not the point of this passage. Don’t worry about loving yourself. That’s assumed. The point of this passage is to love other Christians as though they were family . . . because we are.

NOW FOR THE FINAL IDENTIFIABLE TRAIT THAT IS EXHIBITED BY LOVE. RECIPROCITY

We know that we are to recognize in our congregation the family-type relationship, as well as those individuals who are involved in it; God, others, ourselves. We also know that we are to respond to that relationship in a special way.

Though we know God’s desire is for us to love all men, it is obvious that how I am to express love for my wife varies considerably from how I am to demonstrate love to the mailman. In the spiritual gift realm, the same is true. I am to display love for all men, to be sure. But I am to display love to those who serve God with me differently than those who are not believers in Jesus Christ.

To you, I may show love by consciously and with concerted effort demonstrating my spiritual gifts. But when Paul encouraged us not to be weary in well-doing, he tacitly acknowledged that you could sometimes get tired of doing the right thing.

So, Paul instructs us to love the person who loves you back. Minister back to the person who ministers to you. Serve the one who serves you and exhort the one who exhorts you. And if you can’t do back what was done to you, then love that person back in a way that you can. It really goes a long way to ensure that the Christian who is doing right does not become weary in well-doing.

But there’s another reason, I think, for Paul’s attention to reciprocity here. When he wrote “to one another” he was making sure that those who were being treated like family responded in kind. Not just so they wouldn’t become weary in well-doing, but because God knew, Paul realized, and we realize, that people will perform better, will rise to new heights, will pull together in common effort and common cause with the family they identify with like they will do for no other reason.

The Church congregation is the body of Christ, but that’s not what Paul was teaching when he referred to the body in Romans 12.4-8. I believe he was using the body analogy to show us our interdependence. In the same manner, though Paul draws some strong family parallels, I do not think he is specifically referring to the family of God. His focus is narrower than that. I think he is likening the congregation to a family to illustrate how, like a family loves each other in ways they don’t love others, we should love each other in ways that we don’t love others.

And why is the family analogy used? First, because it is true. In every sense of the word, a congregation is like the human family and the family of God. So, it is proper that we relate to each other as a family does. But in another sense and for another reason, we should apply the family analogy to our Church. We are a Church in transition. Monumental generational changes are taking place in our ministries. Monumental goals lie before us to be reached. We will successfully negotiate the changes God has for us, and we shall successfully reach the goals God sets before us, but we will only do so as a kind of family.

So, I say to you, parent, who is so concerned about this Church that you leave unattended the duties and responsibilities of the family at home that God has given to you and I also say to you, parent, who is so concerned about your family at home that you will not attend to the duties and responsibilities of your family here that God has given to you.

Your natural family unit and this family we call Calvary Road Baptist Church are not in competition with each other. There are always wrinkles to work out. But failure to integrate your family into this Church, or failure to integrate this Church into your family, will result in losses for both. Use judgment and wisdom and realize that God’s ministry and serving Him with love must incorporate this Church, and this Church must incorporate your family.

In short, you’ll be better able to love your family within the context of this Church. And you’ll be better able to love other Christians within the context of this Church. That being true, let’s start seeing some of you around here more often. Okay?

__________

[1] Job 42.6; Romans 7.18

Question? Comment?

Would you like to contact Dr. Waldrip about this sermon? Fill out the form below to send him an email. Thank you.