Calvary Road Baptist Church
“RESPONSIBLE”
I recently traveled with my wife to visit family members. We also had the opportunity to renew a friendship with a classmate and his wife that we had not seen in more than forty years. It was a fantastic four days, and it was while flying back here that God began to work in the solitude of my mind and heart (as He so often does) to plant the seed of the message I now bring to you.
God’s people are typically busy, but often for a different reason than unsaved people occupy themselves. Those who have not experienced God’s forgiveness and who, therefore, do not enjoy the bliss of a clear conscience, usually stay busy to quash the unpleasant interruptions of a defiled conscience, or to tamp down the seared conscience so it will not improve sensitivity to spiritual realities and thereby intrude into the thoughts of the God-ignorer and Christ denier with feelings of guilt and remorse.
God’s people are busy for other reasons, not the least of which are simple industry, productivity, creativity, ministry, personal devotions, and attention paid to the family. Yet both the saved and the lost can benefit from times of quiet reflection, from the still small voice of God speaking through the embedded Word of God that has been planted in the mind, and in some cases, has become lodged in the heart.
Such was my time spent flying back to Southern California last week, reflecting on the conversations enjoyed with loved ones, but with the back shadows found in every family. Back shadows? Yes, the shadows cast by those failings and catastrophes families know about but choose not to talk about unless forced to are termed, by me, back shadows. The back shadows are guilt, estrangement, enslavement, folly, self-destructive behavior, and the sadnesses that, from time to time, overwhelm almost everyone who is blessed by God, who take note of our lost loved ones suffering personal devastation for rejecting God’s blessings. Such sadness likely overwhelms my wife and daughter as they return from mourning the passing of a cherished nephew and beloved cousin.
Throughout a long life, how often I have observed young couples enjoying their beautiful children in an orgy of selfishness, as they deny worship to the God who gave them their children, and who have not yet begun to imagine the havoc they will experience when their godless children grow up and turn on them, blaming them for every real and perceived slight and issue, putting a very personal scowl on the Apostle Paul’s description of those who suppress the knowledge of God by being profoundly unthankful, Romans 1.21, and disobedient to their parents, Romans 1.30. It will go badly, and they will wonder why.
Every clan has different branches, with even the godliest patriarchs suffering the pain of their loved ones rejecting God, rejecting the Savior, and turning their noses up at God’s Word. Such relatives not only ignore the joy and wisdom they have seen throughout their lives observing godly and blessed parents, grandparents, and aunts and uncles, but for some reason, they also set aside any consideration of what made such bountiful lives possible.
Are you a believer in Jesus Christ? Have you reflected on the manifold blessings of God in your life? The forgiveness of your sins, your cleansed conscience, your adoption into the family of God, your access to God in prayer, the love you experience and give, your joy, your peace with God and the peace of God, and so many other blessings besides.
You might also sorrow for the situations of those you love, members of your family, who refuse Christ, who reject the Gospel, who repudiate repentance, and who seem not to notice any of the blessings in your life that you have repeatedly attributed to the grace of God in His Son, Jesus Christ. If you are not careful, the dreadful condition of those you love can not only adversely affect you, but can be used by them you love so much to manipulate and compromise you.
Paul is very clear in his letter to the Corinthians that “There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man.”[1] Paul thereby reminds us that though we are all unique individuals in the sight of God, the issues and challenges we Christians face are common to every human being. Thus, it is not only childish but also naive to claim, “You just don’t understand,” as if that protest comes from someone with a temptation or challenge never before experienced in human history.
That’s nonsense, and you know it. Whether by using that manipulative technique or another one, the sad reaction of most since the dawn of time, when faced by the consequences of their foolish and wicked decision making, is to ameliorate somehow or altogether avoid personal responsibility.
In that vein I would like to accomplish two things this morning, in an effort to spare you unnecessary guilt concerning a loved one, in an effort to spare you unnecessary anger related to a loved one, and in an effort to spare you eternal damnation if you are the loved one Christian family and friends grieve over and anticipate mourning should you die without Christ.
First, A REVIEW OF BIBLICAL FIGURES AND THEIR RESPONSIBILITY
Allow me to remind you of several notable people mentioned in the Biblical record, taking note of their approach to matters of importance:
We begin with Adam when God confronted him after his disobedience, Genesis 3.12:
“And the man said, The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat.”
Notice that Adam’s response when God interviewed him following his disobedience was an attempt to shift blame to his wife, Eve, an effort to avoid personal responsibility for his action.
Next, we come to Eve, Genesis 3.13. When God queried her moments later, she said,
“The serpent beguiled me, and I did eat.”
Just as with Adam, Eve told the truth. But also just like Adam, she told the truth in an attempt to shift blame, to avoid personal responsibility for what she had done. Just as no one forced Adam, no one forced her.
Third, there is the tragedy of Cain and Abel. Raised in the same home, one brother was godly and was slain, while the other brother distinguished himself with wicked behavior, with us taking note of only two of the ways he so distinguished himself. He was the first murderer, killing his younger brother, and then he bitterly complained when the LORD told him of his punishment, Genesis 4.13-14:
13 ... My punishment is greater than I can bear.
14 Behold, thou hast driven me out this day from the face of the earth; and from thy face shall I be hid; and I shall be a fugitive and a vagabond in the earth; and it shall come to pass, that every one that findeth me shall slay me.
Really? Everyone who finds him will kill him? Does the selfish orientation of Cain’s response strike you as odd? He murdered his brother, God will make sure no one retaliates by killing him, yet his remarks focus only on himself (seven times) and no mention of his dead brother. Count the pronouns in these two verses: “My,” “I,” “me,” “I,” “I,” “me,” and finally, “me.” In none of these three examples do we see explicit expressions of remorse or any of the three assuming personal responsibility. Adam and Eve attempted to shift blame and thereby avoid their responsibility, while Cain opted to ignore responsibility altogether.
Fourth, there is the tragedy of Joseph, sold by his ten half-brothers into slavery in Egypt. You can sort out the complicated details found in Genesis chapter 37 and from chapters 39-50, but I want to remind you of something that is never seen in the Biblical record of Joseph’s life. Not when he was rejected by his older brothers, not when he was a slave in Potiphar’s household, and not when he was imprisoned though entirely innocent of wrongdoing, did Joseph ever complain or bellyache. Not one time. He did what his daddy told him to do. He did what his Egyptian master told him to do. He did what the keeper of the prison told him to do. And then he did what Pharaoh told him to do. In other words, when things went from good to bad, and from good to bad, and then back to good again, one characteristic stood out that I want to point out to you. Joseph ever and always assumed responsibility for his behavior. Whatever situation he found himself in, whether because of his brothers’ betrayal or his master’s wife seeking revenge after a failed attempt to seduce him, he conducted himself responsibly. There is no record of him attempting to shift blame onto others or gripe about what others did when things did not go his way.
Such was not the case, however, with Potiphar’s wife. Archaeologists tell us the evidence shows the Egyptian nobility to have been real scoundrels, as is typically the case throughout history among those of high station. So it is no great surprise that a powerful slave owner’s wife would mount a campaign to seduce one of her husband’s slaves, Genesis 39.7-12. What was unusual was that the slave resisted the temptation, testifying of his loyalty to both his master and to God, Genesis 39.9. The slave was Joseph, and the woman was Potiphar’s wife. That Joseph ended up in prison instead of being tortured to death is all the proof I need that Potiphar believed Joseph and did not believe his wife’s accusations against Joseph. Setting consideration of Joseph aside, consider the reaction of Potiphar’s wife after Joseph ran away from her wicked attempt. I read Genesis 39.14-18:
14 That she called unto the men of her house, and spake unto them, saying, See, he hath brought in an Hebrew unto us to mock us; he came in unto me to lie with me, and I cried with a loud voice:
15 And it came to pass, when he heard that I lifted up my voice and cried, that he left his garment with me, and fled, and got him out.
16 And she laid up his garment by her, until his lord came home.
17 And she spake unto him according to these words, saying, The Hebrew servant, which thou hast brought unto us, came in unto me to mock me:
18 And it came to pass, as I lifted up my voice and cried, that he left his garment with me, and fled out.
Notice whose fault she claims it is. Not her fault. Not even the slave’s fault. She points the finger of accusation at her husband:
“See, he hath brought in an Hebrew unto us to mock us.”
“The Hebrew servant, which thou hast brought unto us, came in unto me to mock me.”
She not only assumes no responsibility for her actions, but she also sought to shift all blame to her husband, in front of his household.
Read through the Biblical narrative with attention focused on people who are in dire circumstances. Read about Job, and Rahab, and Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Read of Naomi, Ruth, and David. Then read about Saul and Jezebel and Ahab, and back to Josiah and Hezekiah. Do you think you can predict before you read about them who blames others for what befalls them and who assumes responsibility?
Would you like to raise a spiritual criminal, responsibility avoiders like Adam, like Eve, like Cain, or like Potiphar’s wife? Or would you like to rear a respectable child known for his or her integrity, like Joseph, like Daniel, like Naomi, like Ruth, like Deborah, or like Josiah? Then make the main focus of your parenting the assuming of personal responsibility as opposed to the shifting of responsibility for wrongdoing to others.
Then, A REVIEW OF EVERY INDIVIDUAL’S RESPONSIBILITIES BEFORE GOD
You might liken this to a pre-evangelism message from God’s Word, setting forth a principle that is crucial to evangelism. Before any human being will turn from sins to trust Jesus Christ as personal Savior, that individual must face up to his or her personal responsibility for sins. I am responsible for my sins, you are responsible for your sins, and your children must be held by you to be responsible for their own sins.
Blaming others for what only you are accountable to God for, and allowing your children to shift responsibility for what only they should be accountable for, impedes conversion. Therefore, you are responsible.
First, you are responsible to repent. Your sins are your sins, and no one else’s sins. And you are responsible to repent of your sins and no one else’s sins. As well, your child is responsible to repent of his or her sins. You cannot repent for your child. Your child cannot repent for you. And no one is to assume responsibility for anyone but himself or herself. Are you your brother’s keeper? Yes, but you are not your brother’s substitute. You can and should help your brother, but neither you nor anyone else is responsible for your brother’s sins. Every sinner is commanded by God to repent. It is gracious of God to hold you responsible for you and to hold your loved one responsible for herself or himself. Why so? Because you cannot repent on behalf of someone else. You cannot turn from anyone else’s sins, only your own, as a result of being responsible.
Next, you are responsible for reconciling. Christians have been given the ministry of reconciliation, Second Corinthians 5.18-19. And that ministry of reconciliation involves communicating to everyone their responsibility to be reconciled to God through faith in Christ. Therefore, it is your job and mine to be reconciled to God through faith in Christ and to then engage in the effort to see that others are reconciled to God through faith in Christ. Allow me to describe your responsibility to reconcile, not just to God, but to anyone else you need to be reconciled to. Sin separates. Sin is a barrier. To reconcile is to deal with the sin so that which interferes, that which serves as a barrier or an obstacle, is removed. What removes sin, so reconciliation takes place? Forgiveness. If you have sinned, you repent and seek forgiveness. If you are sinned against, you grant forgiveness according to the measure of the forgiveness God has granted to you, Ephesians 4.32:
“And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”
Do you have a problem with someone else that needs fixing? Even if you have done no wrong, it is your responsibility to effect a reconciliation. Joseph did that with his brothers.
Third, you are responsible to restore. Ever meet people who are so high and mighty that they are willing to forgive but not to forget a wrong done to them, as if they have never wronged anyone themselves? They are quick to forget the sins they commit, but hold on to the sins they claim have been committed against them. Let me educate that person. The whole purpose of Church discipline in Matthew 18.15-20 is to bring about a complete restoration of fellowship and service following repentance and the granting of forgiveness. The same is true of those issues that do not rise to the level of Church discipline in importance. Ever see family members unload on each other in a torrent of emotion and fury? I am reminded of an occasion in which my mom took me apart limb from limb for about eight hours. How did that happen? She was incapable of restoring me (or anyone else) to a right relationship because she never knew the forgiveness of her sins by Christ. Aren’t all people sinners? Yes, we are all sinners. Do we not sin against each other? Yes, we sin against each other. Is it not, therefore, a good thing for us to repent of our sins against someone we have sinned against, to be reconciled with someone who has sinned against us and then brings about a restoration of the relationship when forgiveness is sought and granted? Yes! If we are not capable of repenting, reconciling, and restoring, then the relationship we had with the other person will be either irretrievably broken and the two of you part company, or you live close to each other in misery and pent up anger that only builds over time.
This is a very basic sermon designed to focus attention on a matter of importance that did not have to be addressed in days gone by. Used to be, just about everyone understood the need to be responsible.
When immigrants came to New England, no one had to persuade them to be responsible individuals. In those circumstances, irresponsible blame shifters found themselves isolated, without help from others, and unable to survive.
After our nation came into existence, our population was increased by people who learned in the school of hard knocks to be responsible. It was a character trait quite common to our entire culture to be responsible. Of course, that did not mean because you were responsible you were necessarily going to turn from your sins and trust Christ, because many who were generally responsible did not turn to Christ.
However, no one turns to Christ, who is not responsible. And no one grows in Christ who is not responsible. Truth be told, if an irresponsible scoundrel has come to Christ, a careful examination of his testimony will reveal that somewhere along the way he assumed responsibility for his personal sins, because only then can a person repent of his sins and turn to Christ.
This does not mean every Christian display exemplary responsibility. One can be responsible for his sins and turn to Christ, and then display irresponsibilities that will hinder spirituality and slow spiritual growth. But the point that I seek to keep before you is the personal benefit of you being responsible for you, and the benefit to your child of training to be responsible and the folly of blaming someone else for decisions the child has made, which is avoiding responsibility.
We live in a country in which the trend is away from being responsible, from recognizing that only you can interact with God about your issues of life, your sins, your character, your habits, and your patterns of life. Let us understand that by holding me to be responsible for me, and by holding you to be responsible for you, God is exhibiting grace and mercy toward us so that we can reason with Him about our sins. Isaiah 1.18 reads,
“Come now, and let us reason together, saith the LORD: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.”
Notice that the LORD refers to “your sins.” He is gracious to deal with you about your sins, not someone else’s sins. Therefore, you must be responsible, responsible to God for your own sins, or you will die in your sins and suffer torment forever.
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[1] 1 Corinthians 10.13
Would you like to contact Dr. Waldrip about this sermon? Please contact him by clicking on the link below. Please do not change the subject within your email message. Thank you.
Pastor@CalvaryRoadBaptist.Church