Sermon - "LOVE"S REFUSAL" Part 1

"LOVE’S REFUSAL" Part 1

First Corinthians 13.4-7

INTRODUCTION:

1. Did you know that there was a time in man’s history when our race really understood, or at least was intimately acquainted with, love? Yes, there was a time when the race of man knew what love was.

2. That time in our history was when mankind knew God. There were only two members of the race then . . . Adam and Eve.

3. Those two, as beings directly created by God, knew what love was because they knew God. You see, God is love. Muslims don’t understand this because their Allah isn’t love, and Allah is said to only love conditionally in their Koran.

4. As we study First Corinthians chapter 13 we learn about God, and we learn some of what Adam and Eve must have been like before they fell into that thing called sin.

5. Horrible word sin. Just sounds evil and wicked. Because of sin unsaved man does not know God and cannot conceive of what real love is.

6. Even when a man trusts Christ and thereby knows God and is known of God, his sin still distorts his concept of love, and he must learn what love really is.

7. This is why Paul wrote about the subject, to correct the misconceptions of his readers and to clear up their blurred vision, so they might, so we might, see what love, see what charity, really is.

8. When we were last in this First Corinthian letter we examined charity’s response to other people. "Charity suffereth long and is kind." This evening we move on to charity’s refusal.

9. Truly, we can learn a great deal more about genuine love by coming to understand what it isn’t, what it will not under any circumstances do, how it will not ever behave.

10. You see, there are certain things charity simply will not do.

11. Our text is First Corinthians 13.4-7, so let’s stand and read that passage together:

^{4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity
envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
^{5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own,
is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
^{6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
^{7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all
things, endureth all things.}}}}

12. In our text there are eight things charity refuses to do, eight things real love will not ever do. Let’s examine them one at a time.

1A. FIRST, CHARITY, LOVE, REFUSES TO ENVY

Paul’s exact words are "charity envieth not."

1B. As Was My Practice Last Time, Let Me Define The Term We Are Using

1C. The word "envieth" translates the same Greek word that our English word "zealous" comes from. It’s a highly emotional word that can refer to either very good or very bad emotions, depending on the context in which the word is used.

2C. The context in which the word is used here definitely refers to the bad meaning, and carries the idea of bitterness, of resentment, and of being upset at the blessings received by others.

2B. Let’s Look At Some Biblical Examples

1C. Turn to Acts 7.9 and let’s read about Joseph’s experience with this thing called envy.

"And the patriarchs, moved with envy, sold Joseph into Egypt: but God was with him."

1D. In this verse Stephen describes the attitude that Joseph’s brothers had toward him, that motivated them to sell him into Egyptian slavery.

2D. But turn to Genesis 37.3-11 and read Moses’ account of the same event:

³ Now Israel loved Joseph more than all his children, because he was the son of his old age: and he made him a coat of many colours.

^{4 And when his brethren saw that their father
loved him more than all his brethren, they hated him, and
could not speak peaceably unto him.
^{5 And Joseph dreamed a dream, and he told it
his brethren: and they hated him yet the more
^{6 And he said unto them, Hear, I pray you, this
dream which I have dreamed:
^{7 For, behold, we were binding sheaves in
the field, and, lo, my sheaf arose, and also stood
upright; and, behold, your sheaves stood round about, and
made obeisance to my sheaf.
^{8 And his brethren said to him, Shalt thou indeed
reign over us? or shalt thou indeed have dominion over us?
And they hated him yet the more for his dreams, and for
his words.
^{9 And he dreamed yet another dream, and told it
his brethren, and said, Behold, I have dreamed a dream
more; and, behold, the sun and the moon and the eleven
stars made obeisance to me.
^{10 And he told it to his father, and to
his brethren: and his father rebuked him, and said unto
him, What is this dream that thou hast dreamed? Shall I
and thy mother and thy brethren indeed come to bow down
ourselves to thee to the earth?
^{11 And his brethren envied him; but his father
observed the saying.}}}}}}}}

3D. Did his brothers envy him? According to Moses, in verse 11, yes, they did envy him. But envy is what could be detected in their attitude toward him. Notice what Moses says about them in verse 5. They hated him.

4D. Folks, envy is simply the outward manifestation of hatred, which is the opposite of love.

2C. In Acts 13.44-45 we see Paul’s experience with envy.

^{44 And the next sabbath day came almost the whole
city together to hear the word of God.
^{45 But when the Jews saw the multitudes, they were
filled with envy, and spake against those things which were
spoken by Paul, contradicting and blaspheming.
1D. These two verses form a part of Luke’s account of
Paul’s ministry in a city called Antioch, which was in a
region called Pisidia.
2D. And as you can tell, the blessings of God were so
abundant that the Jews in the community were provoked to
envy. Specifically, their envy was the result of observing
the people’s tremendous response to Paul’s ministry.
3D. But when you go back and look at Joseph’s
experience, we find that the same holds true. His brothers
were provoked to envy by the blessings he received from
their father.}}

3B. Let’s Apply That

1C. When the context of the passage shows it to be strong emotion that is bad and improper, envy seems to be the outward display of hatred, and envy seems to be a sinful response to the blessings others have received.

2C. When understood in that way it is easy to see that genuine love is not envious. Genuine love rejoices when others are blessed, and will not become angry and resentful just because it appears as though others are being blessed more.

3C. When understood in that light, are you envious? Are you teaching your children to be envious? Don’t be surprised at my question. Many parents are inadvertently training their children to envy others instead of training them to love others.

4C. Have you ever seen parents throw a birthday party for one of their kids, but they go to great lengths to make sure that each of their children gets a present? Why do they do that? They want to be fair and they don’t want to upset their children, not realizing that they are training their children to always expect to be blessed when someone else is blessed.

5C. But that’s not the way things work in the real world. All the parents who do such things are guaranteeing is that their kids will be provoked to envy whenever someone gets blessed and they aren’t.

6C. Moms and dads, if your child gets angry or starts crying when someone else gets something and they don’t, or when they become upset at seeing others receive what they would like to have for themselves, do not run out and try to satisfy their demands. Realize that to be a sinful reaction, and begin training them to rejoice when others are blessed.

7C. If you train them to react in that way you are training them to love, because charity envieth not.

2A. SECOND, CHARITY, LOVE, REFUSES TO VAUNT ITSELF

Paul wrote, "charity vaunteth not itself."

1B. What Does The Term Mean?

1C. Clement of Alexandria, who was a preacher who lived about 1500 years ago, defined the term in this way. He wrote that to "vaunt yourself" was to ornament yourself with emphasis on the useless.

2C. In modern day terminology it means to brag on yourself or to brag on some useless nonsense related to you.

2B. A Couple Of Examples From God’s Word

1C. First, the tragedy of good king Hezekiah vaunting himself

1D. In Second Kings 20, Hezekiah, king of Judah and a wonderful man of God, asked for and received from God a guarantee of 15 additional years of life.

2D. In verses 12-18 of that same chapter we read of Hezekiah’s bragging, and the consequences:

^{12 At that time Berodachbaladan, the son of
Baladan, king of Babylon, sent letters and a present unto
Hezekiah: for he had heard that Hezekiah had been sick.
^{13 And Hezekiah hearkened unto them, and shewed
them all the house of his precious things, the silver, and
the gold, and the spices, and the precious ointment, and all
the house of his armour, and all that was found in his
treasures: there was nothing in his house, nor in all his
dominion, that Hezekiah shewed them not.
^{14 Then came Isaiah the prophet unto king
Hezekiah, and said unto him, What said these men? and from
whence came they unto thee? And Hezekiah said, They are
come from a far country, even from Babylon.
^{15 And he said, What have they seen in thine
house? And Hezekiah answered, All the things that are
in mine house have they seen: there is nothing among my
treasures that I have not shewed them.
^{16 And Isaiah said unto Hezekiah, Hear the word
of the LORD.
^{17 Behold, the days come, that all that is in
thine house, and that which thy fathers have laid up in
store unto this day, shall be carried into Babylon:
nothing shall be left, saith the LORD.
^{18 And of thy sons that shall issue from thee,
which thou shalt beget, shall they take away; and they
shall be eunuchs in the palace of the king of Babylon.}}}}}}}

3D. And if you have ever read through the Old Testament you will verify that it happened just like Isaiah said it would. Hezekiah’s boasting about things he was really not responsible for, the wealth of his household which had been given by God, is what it is to vaunt yourself.

2C. Now let’s read of Nebuchadnezzar’s bragging in Daniel 4.29-33.

^{29 At the end of twelve months he walked in the
palace of the kingdom of Babylon.
^{30 The king spake, and said, Is not this great
Babylon, that I have built for the house of the kingdom by
the might of my power, and for the honour of my majesty?
^{31 While the word was in the king’s mouth,
there fell a voice from heaven, saying, O king
Nebuchadnezzar, to thee it is spoken; The kingdom is
departed from thee.
^{32 And they shall drive thee from men, and thy
dwelling shall be with the beasts of the field: they
shall make thee to eat grass as oxen, and seven times shall
pass over thee, until thou know that the most High ruleth in
the kingdom of men, and giveth it to whomsoever he will
^{33 The same hour was the thing fulfilled upon
Nebuchadnezzar: and he was driven from men, and did eat
grass as oxen, and his body was wet with the dew of heaven,
till his hairs were grown like eagles’ feathers,
and his nails like birds’ claws.
1D. Folks, if you will remember, Nebuchadnezzar had
previously been warned by the prophet Daniel not to take
credit for the might and majesty of Babylon, but to give the
glory to God.
2D. Nebuchadnezzar, however, chose to vaunt himself, and
he received the consequences he was warned about. Only the
grace of God saved that king from the ultimate consequences
of his sinful bragging, which would have been Hell.}}}}}

3B. How Does This Speak To Us?

1C. Think about it for just a moment. What an utter waste of time it is to brag on your intelligence, or to brag on your beauty, or even to brag on things that you possess.

2C. What we ought to do instead is realize that everything we have and everything we are is from the Lord. And for that reason, if there is to be any bragging, brag on the Lord. As Paul wrote in First Corinthians 1.31, "He that glorieth let him glory in the Lord."

3C. An example: When a kid comes up to you and says, "See what I can do," are they not vaunting themselves? Sure they are. It’s natural for a kid to do that. It’s also wrong. If a child received unsolicited praise from his parents he would be less likely to commit that sin.

4C. Or how about a woman who wears tight and immodest clothes? Is she not vaunting herself? Is she not drawing attention to or bragging about some part of her physique? Sure.

5C. And if she thinks her figure is her doing, she can just wait until God decides to give her a forty pound gift. Then let’s see how much bragging she does. You don’t see me bragging about my body do you? There’s a lesson for you.

6C. Parents, let’s be very careful not to teach our kids to do things when they are little that they will have to unlearn to effectively serve God as adults. Amen?

3A. THIRD, CHARITY, LOVE, REFUSES TO PUFF ITSELF

1B. A Definition For the Word "Puff"

1C. This word really needs no help. Just like blowing up an inner tube, or having a swelled head.

2C. The tense of the word, because it is a verb in our text, shows that no one can do this to you. You can only do it to yourself.

3C. I suppose an approximate synonym would be the word "arrogant."

2B. There Are Numerous Examples Of This Behavior

1C. Remember the example of the praying Pharisee?

1D. Turn to Luke 18.10-13:

^{10 Two men went up into the temple to pray; the
one a Pharisee, and the other a publican.
^{11 The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with
himself, God, I thank thee, that I am not as other men are,
extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this
publican.
^{12 I fast twice in the week, I give tithes of all
that I possess.
^{13 And the publican, standing afar off, would not
lift up so much as his eyes unto heaven, but smote
upon his breast, saying, God be merciful to me a sinner.}}}}

2D. Here we have the Lord showing two different men praying. Completely different in their approach to God.

3D. Know what the Pharisee was doing? He was puffing himself. And he was puffing himself in front of God, no less.

2C. And, of course, we have the infamous Corinthian Christians. Three things to notice about them.

1D. Read First Corinthians 4.6-7:

^{6 And these things, brethren, I have in a figure
transferred to myself and to Apollos for your
sakes; that ye might learn in us not to think of men
above that which is written, that no one of you be puffed
up for one against another.
^{7 For who maketh thee to differ from another?
and what hast thou that thou didst not receive? now if
thou didst receive it, why dost thou glory, as if
thou hadst not received it?}}

Here we see that to be puffed up is to have feelings of superiority toward other people. Folks, we need to realize that we are all different, but that in God’s economy differences have nothing to do with better or worse. No person is superior to another.

2D. Now read First Corinthians 5.1-2:

^{1 It is reported commonly that there is
fornication among you, and such fornication as is not so
much as named among the Gentiles, that one should have his
father’s wife.
^{2 And ye are puffed up, and have not rather
mourned, that he that hath done this deed might be taken
away from among you.}}

Want to know what puffed up is in this situation? Dealing with sin in a manner that is different than the way God said to deal with it. Folks, just think about it for a moment. Is it not the height of arrogance to try and solve a sin problem in a way that is different than the way God said to deal with it? Sure, because when you try to deal with sin in your own way you are acting as though you know more about it than God does. That’s puffed up if anything is.

3D. Finally, read First Corinthians 8.1-2:

^{1 Now as touching things offered unto idols, we
know that we all have knowledge. Knowledge puffeth up, but
charity edifieth.
^{2 And if any man think that he knoweth any thing,
he knoweth nothing yet as he ought to know.}}

Here we see that a person is puffed up when he thinks he knows more than he really knows. The Corinthians knew many facts, but their knowledge of God, that can only be gained through intimacy with Him, was sadly lacking.

3B. Application?

1C. Think of the variety of ways in which we Christians can puff ourselves. We do it by creating our own yardsticks of comparison so that we can esteem ourselves more highly than others.

2C. Here is where the difference between being puffed up and vaunting yourself can most easily be seen.

3C. When you vaunt yourself you are trying to elevate yourself in the eyes of others. You are promoting yourself in one way or another.

4C. But when you puff yourself you are magnifying your importance in your own eyes, often by diminishing others.

5C. And how do we do this? Oh, oftentimes we will hold private little contests between ourselves and other people. The goal of the little contest is to declare ourselves the winner, thereby puffing ourselves in our own eyes.

6C. Only problem is, you never inform them there’s a contest, and when you declare yourself the winner you mentally demean them and boast in your heart. Is that love? I don’t think so.

CONCLUSION:

1. We don’t have time this evening to look at all eight things love refuses to do, but these three examples have been helpful, I think, in a number of ways.

2. As I predicted, our study has helped us know more of our great God Who is love. Consider God’s love.

3. Since God is love, God cannot envy. And this makes perfect sense when you think about it. God doesn’t really ever receive blessings. Instead He gives blessings, He bestows blessings. Therefore, if envy is at least partly the reaction of a person who doesn’t get blessed as he wants to be, then we see that it’s impossible for God to envy, since God only gives and has no need of receiving blessing.

4. Since He already has everything there is to have, since He is the Possessor of all things and the Creator of all things, how could He react negatively when someone else gets something? You see, when someone gets something, it ultimately has to come from Him.

5. Next, since God is love, God cannot vaunt Himself. Why not? To vaunt yourself is to elevate yourself in the sight of others. But God, Who is already high and lifted up, Isaiah 6.1, has no need to vaunt Himself.

6. And since He is love, God cannot puff Himself up. To puff yourself is to magnify yourself in your own sight. But remember, in Jeremiah 23.24 God points out that He fills heaven and earth. How could Someone Who fills heaven and earth puff Himself? Or why would He feel the need to?

7. No, God doesn’t do any of these things. He loves us. He will never envy us because He wants us to be greatly blessed. He will never vaunt Himself, because He seeks to lift up those of us who will humble ourselves in His sight. And He will never puff Himself. On the contrary, He so wants to convince us of our importance to Him, that He sent His Own Son to die for our sins. God loves us.

8. And He wants us to love with that same kind of love. Rejoice when God blesses others, then it will be a blessing to you, as well. Seek not to elevate yourself in the eyes of your fellow man. Humble yourself in the sight of the Lord and He will lift you up. Esteem others better than yourself.

9. This is, in part, what love is. Do you give this kind of love? Of course, you do not. But over time, Christian, your love for others can become more like God’s love, as the Holy Spirit produces fruit in your life and changes your personality to become more Christ like.