“DIRECTIONS FOR VIRGINS”

First Corinthians 7.17-38

EXPOSITION:

1.   I have been in the Gospel ministry for 27 years.  During that time I have preached thousands of sermons, taught thousands of lessons, counseled thousands of people. 

2.   And although any preacher wants each and every sermon to be used of God to affect the life of his people, the reality is that some sermons rise up to a level that is far above most sermons.  Such was my sermon last Sunday night, in my estimation.

3.   Last Sunday night I was given opportunity by God to side with Him on the issue of moral purity over against a sinner’s choice to commit sin.  Last Sunday night I gave parents the opportunity, by both their presence during the sermon and their response after the sermon, to lead the way for their children’s future.  But most of all, last Sunday night those of you who are virgins were given opportunity to establish personal convictions and to make personal decisions that will affect the course of your life.

4.   My goal in preparing and in preaching “A Sermon To Virgins” was to establish in your minds, in case your parents had not yet helped you establish for yourself, the great blessing that God has bestowed upon you and the distinct advantage God has given to you as virgins.

5.   This evening we will visit the general topic of sexual purity and virginity once again with a sermon titled “Thinking Out Loud To Virgins.”  It’s a rambling sort of sermon that will seek to provoke your thoughts during the exposition portion of the message, and will address the topic of how parents successfully curse their children during the sermon portion of the message.

6.   Please turn in your Bible to First Corinthians 7.17.  When you find that portion of God’s Word please stand as we read God’s Word together:

¹⁷     But as God hath distributed to every man, as the Lord hath called every one, so let him walk. And so ordain I in all churches.

¹⁸     Is any man called being circumcised? let him not become uncircumcised.  Is any called in uncircumcision? let him not be circumcised.

¹⁹     Circumcision is nothing, and uncircumcision is nothing, but the keeping of the commandments of God.

²⁰     Let every man abide in the same calling wherein he was called.

²¹     Art thou called being a servant? care not for it: but if thou mayest be made free, use it rather.

²²     For he that is called in the Lord, being a servant, is the Lord’s freeman: likewise also he that is called, being free, is Christ’s servant.

²³     Ye are bought with a price; be not ye the servants of men.

²⁴     Brethren, let every man, wherein he is called, therein abide with God.

²⁵     Now concerning virgins I have no commandment of the Lord: yet I give my judgment, as one that hath obtained mercy of the Lord to be faithful.

²⁶     I suppose therefore that this is good for the present distress, I say, that it is good for a man so to be.

²⁷     Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed.  Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife.

²⁸     But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned.  Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you.

²⁹     But this I say, brethren, the time is short: it remaineth, that both they that have wives be as though they had none;

³⁰     And they that weep, as though they wept not; and they that rejoice, as though they rejoiced not; and they that buy, as though they possessed not;

³¹     And they that use this world, as not abusing it: for the fashion of this world passeth away.

³²     But I would have you without carefulness.  He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord:

³³     But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife.

³⁴     There is difference also between a wife and a virgin.  The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.

³⁵     And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction.

³⁶     But if any man think that he behaveth himself uncomely toward his virgin, if she pass the flower of her age, and need so require, let him do what he will, he sinneth not: let them marry.

³⁷     Nevertheless he that standeth stedfast in his heart, having no necessity, but hath power over his own will, and hath so decreed in his heart that he will keep his virgin, doeth well.

³⁸     So then he that giveth her in marriage doeth well; but he that giveth her not in marriage doeth better. 

7.   The entire 7^th chapter of First Corinthians is given over to the subject of desire and marriage and related topics, so you may wonder what verses 17-24 have to do with the rest of the chapter.  After all, these 8 verses do not seem on the surface to have anything to do with what comes either before or after.  At first glance verses 17-24 do not seem to have much to do with desire and marriage, until you take a step back and see what Paul is doing.

8.   Let’s read verses 17-24 once again:

¹⁷     But as God hath distributed to every man, as the Lord hath called every one, so let him walk. And so ordain I in all churches.

¹⁸     Is any man called being circumcised? let him not become uncircumcised.  Is any called in uncircumcision? let him not be circumcised.

¹⁹     Circumcision is nothing, and uncircumcision is nothing, but the keeping of the commandments of God.

²⁰     Let every man abide in the same calling wherein he was called.

²¹     Art thou called being a servant? care not for it: but if thou mayest be made free, use it rather.

²²     For he that is called in the Lord, being a servant, is the Lord’s freeman: likewise also he that is called, being free, is Christ’s servant.

²³     Ye are bought with a price; be not ye the servants of men.

²⁴     Brethren, let every man, wherein he is called, therein abide with God. 

8.   The general thrust of these 8 verses can be summed up in one phrase:  Do not change your status.  Those who are circumcised are not to become uncircumcised.  That would be a trick, wouldn’t it?  What Paul means is that Jewish converts are not to seek to become Gentile Christians, and visa versa.  “Let every man abide in the same calling wherein he was called,” verse 20.

9.   Are you a slave?  Don’t make a big deal about becoming a freeman, but take it if it comes your way.  “Brethren, let every man, wherein he is called, therein abide with God,” verse 24.  In other words, Paul is telling the Corinthians to stay put.  People who come to Christ have just had their lives turned upside down.  Therefore, be very slow to change things not directly connected to sin, if you change at all.

10. If you are a Jewish Christian, don’t try to become a Gentile believer at all.  If you are a Gentile believer, don’t try to become a Jewish believer at all.  If you are a slave, don’t make a big deal about getting freedom from your master, but take it if it comes.  In short, stay put for now and move slowly if you do move.

11. Now, what do these 8 verses have to do with what follows?  What follows has to do with virgins marrying.  So, Paul has laid the foundation for virgins to approach the topic of marriage in a markedly different manner than Gentiles typically did, especially how Gentiles in Corinth typically approached marriage.  He wants things to proceed slowly, especially if you are a new convert contemplating marriage.

12. So, to Paul’s obvious design to slow down this mad rush by young people to get married, especially right after they get converted, we have his specific instructions to young women and young men who are virgins.  This leads to three points in my exposition: 

1A.   First, OBSERVATIONS

Let me start off by stating that the Word of God does not treat male virgins and female virgins in the same way.  This is easily seen in our text.  Notice verses 25 through 35.  These 11 verses deal with the subject of a virgin contemplating marriage, but from the perspective of a virgin male.  Verses 36-38, however, address the situation of a virgin female contemplating marriage.  But notice, if you will, in verses 36-38, who Paul’s remarks are directed to . . . her father.  Therefore, my observations fall into two categories, male virgins contemplating marriage and female virgins and their fathers contemplating marriage:

1B.    Let’s consider the male virgins first, in verses 25-35:

²⁵     Now concerning virgins I have no commandment of the Lord: yet I give my judgment, as one that hath obtained mercy of the Lord to be faithful.

²⁶     I suppose therefore that this is good for the present distress, I say, that it is good for a man so to be.

²⁷     Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed.  Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife.

²⁸     But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned.  Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you.

²⁹     But this I say, brethren, the time is short: it remaineth, that both they that have wives be as though they had none;

³⁰     And they that weep, as though they wept not; and they that rejoice, as though they rejoiced not; and they that buy, as though they possessed not;

³¹     And they that use this world, as not abusing it: for the fashion of this world passeth away.

³²     But I would have you without carefulness.  He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord:

³³     But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife.

³⁴     There is difference also between a wife and a virgin.  The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.

³⁵     And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction. 

1C.   Verse 25.   The Lord Jesus Christ did not deal with this issue directly, according to Paul, but the apostle has things to say to those who are interested in being faithful to the Lord.  Ignore Paul’s directives, young virgin man, and we can only assume that you have no interest in being a faithful Christian.

2C.   Verses 26-35 deal with issues related to impending persecution and the effects of persecution on married life, some comments on how marriage will affect a woman’s personal commitment to serve God, and a final word to remind young virgin men that his comments to them are made with your best interests in mind.

3C.   It is easy to observe that most young men contemplate marriage with only their own interests in mind.  What Paul seeks to do in this passage is remind young Christian men who are virgins that they need to seriously consider the best interests of their potential wife when they consider marriage, how marriage will affect her, how it will impact her ministry and service to God, as well as how being married will affect your own Christian life and ministry.

4C.   Can you marry and serve God?  If not don’t get married.  Can you marry and support your wife so that she can raise children and also serve God?  If not don’t get married.  Now, you young men know why I urge you to complete your college education before you consider marriage.  Think not only of yourself, and your ability to serve God, but also what kind of a situation you will create for your wife and her ability to serve God.

2B.    Now, let’s consider female virgins and their fathers, in verses 36-38:

³⁶     But if any man think that he behaveth himself uncomely toward his virgin, if she pass the flower of her age, and need so require, let him do what he will, he sinneth not: let them marry.

³⁷     Nevertheless he that standeth stedfast in his heart, having no necessity, but hath power over his own will, and hath so decreed in his heart that he will keep his virgin, doeth well.

³⁸     So then he that giveth her in marriage doeth well; but he that giveth her not in marriage doeth better. 

1C.   Again, how do we know Paul is talking to fathers and not fiancés?  Is a young woman who is a virgin properly described as “his virgin” in connection to a fiancé, verse 36?  I don’t think so.  “His virgin” applies only to dads.  And how about the last three phrases of verse 36?  “let him do what he will, he sinneth not: let them marry.”  How can “them” refer to a virgin and her fiancé if Paul is writing to the fiancé?  This works only when Paul is writing to her father.

2C.   So, en large, verses 36-38 are instructions given by the apostle Paul to a virgin’s father about her marriage.  What must that mean?  That can only mean that the father wields authority in the life of his virgin daughter that he does not possess in the life of his unmarried daughter who has committed fornication.

3C.   And what implications does that have for a young man who desires to marry a Christian girl who is a virgin?  Since Paul deals with her dad about her marriage, how can it be that the young man also should not deal with her dad?  And the young man who attempts to pull off a coup with a virgin daughter apart from the prior knowledge and consent of her father is demonstrating that he has no concern but for himself, and no interest in faithfulness to God.

4C.   You guys who sidle up to a virgin to look at the ground and say “Aw, shucks,” without first asking her father’s permission, are way out of line . . . and you know you are. 

2A.   Second, CONSIDERATIONS

         Two considerations for those involved in the marriage of a virgin; her fiancé, her self, and her father:

1B.    First, there must be consideration of the fact that it is better to marry than burn, First Corinthians 7.1-9.

1C.   The young man, the young woman, and the father need to keep in mind that two young people who are not married need to keep their hands off each other, verse 1.

2C.   Those same three need to keep in mind that the long term solution to the temptation to commit fornication is marriage.  So, there is a question in my mind about the sensibility of those who complain about their urges yet who do not prepare themselves for marriage by getting their education as rapidly as they can, or setting themselves up in a career as quickly as they can.

3C.   According to verse 9 it is better to marry than burn.  Now, it is always assumed by some young fellow that he and only he is a girl’s solution to this problem.  But if he is not prepared to support a wife he most certainly is not any solution to her problem, but is a bigger problem for her. 

4C.   The solution to a woman’s problem of burning is a godly man who can support her.  The solution to a man’s problem of burning is not a woman who will marry him, but most likely a great job or a good education.  Otherwise he is only a problem and no solution himself.

5C.   Where dads enter into this equation is controlling his daughter’s social life so that she does not become the reason a young man burns, and she does not burn herself, as the result of an attachment to a young man who is not qualified to marry her. 

6C.   Dad, do not allow your daughter to ark and spark with a guy who is not qualified to marry her.  Put an end to it before a fire gets started.  Don’t wait to put out a fire you should never have allowed to flare up in the first place.

2B.    As well, the young man must provide for his own, First Timothy 5.8:

“But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.” 

1C.   If you got married before you were able to support your wife, and you both need to work to make ends meet, don’t bankrupt yourselves by rashly making your wife immediately quit her job.  But I would make every effort to work toward the day when you can support your family without a second income from your wife.  Set that as a goal to work toward.

2C.   Now, you may not reach your goal of supporting your family by yourself.  But if you cannot reach that goal yourself, you can certainly raise your children in such a way that they can reach that goal.  After all, sometimes financial goals take two generations to achieve.

3C.   The optimum is for your wife to raise your children and to be in the home.  Next to that is the goal of mom being home when the kids are at home, if she does have to work.  But for you who are not yet married, there is simply no excuse.

4C.   You girls can work to get an education so that you can support yourself should you not marry, should your dad refuse to provide for you, or should you marry and your husband die or become disabled in some way.  But you have no business marrying any man who has not prepared himself to support you so that you can mother your children.

5C.   And you guys have no business expecting any woman to put herself in a position to have to work a job and be your wife and mother your children.  We have good moms in our Church who find themselves in that position.  But every single one of them will agree with me that they would much rather be at home with their children than working a 9 to 5 job.

6C.   So, get yourself ready to be that kind of a husband as quickly as you can.  Remember what First Timothy 5.8 says.  You are responsible to provide for your own.  And if that doesn’t first apply to your own wife and kids, then I don’t know what words mean. 

3A.   Third, IMPLICATIONS

Let me move on with my thoughts and share with you some implications of our text and its obvious thrust toward a young man and a young virgin woman’s father:

1B.    First, dating is entirely inappropriate

1C.   Why do I say this?  Dating is inappropriate because dating removes a girl from her father’s oversight and allows a guy to deal directly with her about things related to marriage without her foolish father’s awareness.  Dating is also inappropriate because it usually occurs with two people who are nowhere near being Scripturally qualified to marry.  Dating virtually guarantees that a guy will burn before he can earn enough to support a wife.  No good.

2C.   Consider what happens on a date.  On a date a guy spends his time attempting to persuade a young woman to submit to him.  He uses flattery, he uses charm, he uses cunning.  By hook or by crook he works to persuade a young woman to submit to him.  But according to the Bible she is supposed to submit to her dad, not to any guy.

3C.   In the end a date has only three possible outcomes.  One of them dumps the other, resulting in hurt feelings.  They commit sin together, resulting in ruined lives.  Or, they end up getting married to each other without her father playing his God-ordained role to assure that the guy is the right guy and the timing is the right time.  So, nothing good happens as a result of dating.

2B.    This is why I strongly recommend courtship

1C.   There are many stripes and variations, but courtship basically starts out with a young man approaching a young woman’s father and asking her dad if he can spend time with her.  From that point onward the father should control the situation.

2C.   By controlling the situation the dad decides whether or not the fellow is financially, physically, spiritually, educationally, and otherwise qualified to even be considered by his daughter.

3C.   And this is as it should be.  Remember, a guy will attempt to persuade a young woman to submit to him instead of her dad.  Such attempts by a young man should only be undertaken with her dad’s permission.  Otherwise both the girl and the guy are engaged in rebellion.

4C.   If courtship is conducted in a supervised way, by spiritual people, who are properly qualified, a great marriage can result, or two people can part company knowing it wasn’t God’s will for them to marry, but without hurting each other’s feelings and without rejecting each other.

3B.    All in all, submission to the father is of paramount importance

1C.   Unless a woman is widowed or divorced God’s plan is for every female to be led, to be protected, to be guarded by a spiritual man, either her father or her husband.  Now, it doesn’t always work out that way, but that is God’s optimum.

2C.   Sometimes a pastor is concerned enough, is insightful enough, and has the experience to be a blessing to a young virgin and a young man who seeks God’s will concerning marriage.

3C.   But two young people working this thing out on their own?  No good.  To dangerous.  Too many emotions and yearnings.  Not something two people will do if serving God is important to them. 

CONCLUSION:

1.   I have intentionally stayed away from specifics in sharing my thoughts with you this evening.  My whole goal this evening is to show you that God has your life covered.  He has a plan awaiting implementation for those of you who are willing to forsake the single life and its freedom to serve God for the life of a married person with its encumbrances and difficulties.

2.   But to sum up what God’s Word says to virgin men and women, it can be stated rather succinctly in two statements:  Young man, when you have prepared yourself to be a husband approach the young woman’s father before you start cutting her out of the herd and flattering her, before you start showing her that you like her, before you start undermining her father’s authority in her life.  Get prepared and then go to her dad.

3.   Young lady, stop with the form fitting clothing that’s designed to attract young men with eyes.  Stop buzzing about from guy to guy, flattering them with your charms and putting foolish notions into their heads and hearts before they are close to being prepared to marry anyone. 

4.   What you should do is prepare yourself to be a wife and then wait.  Get your education and then wait.  Wait for your dad to approach you some day and say to you, “Honey, a guy called me today and asked me if he could court you.  Are you interested enough in him that I should call pastor and have a talk with him, or do you want me to tell him ‘Thanks, but no’?”

5.   I could go on for hours about a guy’s side of this and the girl’s side of this and the dad’s side of this.  But let me tell you before brother Isenberger comes to lead us in a song before my short sermon, God’s way is far better than man’s way.  God’s way is better than dating.  God’s way isn’t a gamble.  

INTRODUCTION:

1.   There are some young people in this Church that I know I will never reach with the Gospel.  And there have been young people pass through our Church and school that I have known in the depths of my heart that I would never see come to Christ.

2.   Why not?  Because the parents of these children curse them.  They say little things or do little things.  Or they don’t say little things or don’t do little things.  Sometimes it’s a sigh or a frown.  At other times it’s posture or the expression on the face.  Still other times it’s failing to involve in some area of Church life, like Saturday nights.

3.   Some of you kids need to realize that your moms and dads can either be a blessing to you or a cursing to you, and some are a cursing.  We have parents in our Church who are really a cursing to their own children and not a blessing.  They love their kids, after a fashion, but they greatly curse them and hinder their conversion.

4.   Now, I would never intentionally created a rift between you and your mom, or between you and your dad.  But if you are ever going to get converted you will have to realize that there are some things your mom is wrong about, and there are some things your dad is wrong about.  And you are going to have to decide in your mind and in your heart to not pay attention to your mom or your dad . . . so you can get converted.

5.   This sermon is not exhaustive, but is suggestive.  I seek to cause no problems, but to suggest solutions.  Do you really want your dad’s life?  Do you really want your mom’s life?  Think about it.  If the answer is “Yes,” then continue to listen to mom or dad and be cursed.  But if the answer is “No,” then stop listening to mom and dad, and listen to me, and be blessed.

6.   Of course, I speak not of all parents, but only of those who are not with me in this Gospel enterprise.  You kids know whether your mom or dad are of one mind with me or not, whether they are really into the Christian life or not.  Some of you know that your mom is really only trying to minimize her feelings of guilt, and that her heart isn’t really in our Church’s ministry at all.  And you know that.  Sure you do.

7.   Now, let me tell you how parents sometimes curse their children, so you can make sure your mom or dad doesn’t curse you in this way.  And you do this by agreeing with me and not with them whenever they disagree with God.  Always honor them.  Obey them.  But you don’t have to always agree with them. 

1A.   First, SOME PARENTS EXHIBIT A RELUCTANCE OWING TO THEIR OWN SINS

1B.    What do I mean by this?  I mean by this that not all parents were morally clean before they got married.  Some moms and dads committed terrible sins and got in trouble in a variety of ways.  Now, if mom or dad got converted then God forgave those sins and cleansed them in the blood of Christ.  But not all moms and not all dads are truly born again and free from bondage to sins.

2B.    And this is seen when it comes to children dating.  There are many of us here who were never taught that dating was wrong.  My wife and I dated before we got married.  No one ever told me that God had a better way of finding someone to marry, and no one ever told my wife.  We dated because we knew no other way to go about finding a husband or a wife.

3B.    But once I was exposed to what the Bible teaches about a father’s role in his virgin daughter’s marriage plans I became an enemy of dating, and have railed against dating ever since.  And you know what?  I don’t think I have ever found a real Christian who hasn’t turned against dating once he or she has been taught what the Bible says about courtship and a father’s role in his or her virgin daughter’s marriage.

4B.    But there are some parents who seem to care little about whether or not their children are virgins when they marry.  They committed fornication when they were teens and they think that it’s normal and not particularly sinful behavior for their own kids to sleep with people before they get married. 

5B.    So, they are reluctant to make a stand concerning dating.  They don’t think it’s important enough to fuss with their children about.  They’d rather their kids blend in with the world, dating and dancing and drinking, than make a big stink about such things.  Why?  That’s what they did when they were young.

6B.    Such parents are a curse to their children, young people.  And they will subtly oppose the Gospel.  So, if you ever expect to get converted you will have to decide in your mind that your mom is wrong on this, that your dad is wrong on this, and that the Bible is right on this.

7B.    Turn to Second Corinthians 7.11:  “For behold this selfsame thing, that ye sorrowed after a godly sort, what carefulness it wrought in you, yea, what clearing of yourselves, yea, what indignation, yea, what fear, yea, what vehement desire, yea, what zeal, yea, what revenge!  In all things ye have approved yourselves to be clear in this matter.”  From this verse we see that had your parents truly repented of their sins they would be the most vocal and outspoken opponents of the sins they used to be guilty of themselves.  That they are silent in opposing various sins shows they are yet guilty. 

2A.   Next, THEY WILL REFUSE TO EMOTIONALLY SUPPORT THE PASTOR    

1B.    I know a boy in another Church who committed some very serious sins.  When the pastor strongly rebuked him his mother cursed him.  How did she curse him?  Did she say nasty words to her son?  No, she cursed him in another way.  She did not emotionally support her pastor in his dealings with her son.  So, though the boy was wrong, and the pastor was right, the boy’s mother sided with her poor baby.  Not openly.  Not with words.  But with a facial expression and with a sigh.

2B.    And the same thing has happened here a number of times over the years.  Some boy will do wrong, or some girl will do wrong.  And by doing wrong, I don’t mean piddly little things.  I’m talking about serious sins.  Yet, when I take action against the kid (and I’m not talking about little kids, mind you, but young adults or near adults) the fathers or the mothers won’t side with me against their kid.  So, though the kids were wrong and I was right, the parents sided with their kids.

3B.    Folks, when parents do that they curse their children.  They well nigh damn them to Hell when they do that.  How so?  They further confuse young people who are already profoundly confused about the rightness of right and the wrongness of wrong.  They play into the hands of wicked and deceitful hearts, Jeremiah 17.9, and allow self-deceit in their children to continue and to grow worse.

4B.    Children should not have to choose between their pastor and their parents in determining what is right and what is wrong, what is God’s will and what is not God’s will.  And when your parents do not emotionally support me they are disagreeing with me and confusing you.  The result?  Well, we see the result don’t we?  You are not converted and you won’t be converted so long as that nonsense continues.  Your entire family either needs to leave and go to another Church, or you need to disagree with your parents about what I preach.  If things continue as they are you’ll never come to Christ.

5B.    This whole process is much like the way a baby is with his mommy and daddy.  When a dad says or does something the youngster will look at his mom to see if she agrees or disagrees with dad.  In that way a mom establishes or undermines her husband’s position and authority in the child’s life.  And the same kind of thing happens with the pastor.  You look to your mom, whether you realize it or not.  And if your mother does not fully support me on an emotional level, then you will not receive what I have to say as being true or as being important.  And this is how a mother curses her son. 

3A.   Finally, THEY ARE SYMPATHETIC WITH THE SINNER INSTEAD OF GOD

1B.    According to Romans 5.10, you are God’s enemy if you are unconverted.  But whose side is your mom on if she is truly converted?  She’s on God’s side, isn’t she?  Or at least, she’s supposed to be on God’s side.  But whose side does she act like she is on when you commit sin?

2B.    It may seem like I am picking on moms more than dads, and I am.  This is because a mother more frequently has much greater influence in her children’s lives than fathers do.  But there is many a dad who curses his children, you can be sure.

3B.    What is some young person who commits fornication?  Who takes drugs?  Who lies?  Who steals?  Who is lazy?  Is that child a victim or a sinner?  Is that young person wrong in his wrongdoing, or is he a victim of circumstances that he has no control over?

4B.    When you have to choose sides, mom, dad, and you do have to choose sides, whose side do you choose?  Do you choose your child’s side or do you choose God’s side?  If you sympathize with your child’s wrongdoing, if you make excuses for your baby’s sins, if you refuse to spank your child for foolish behavior or rebellion, then you choose your child’s side against God.

5B.    Please understand that no sinner gets saved who is not alone.  What do I mean by that?  I mean that no sinner will get saved who feels that legitimate authority figures are on his side against God. And so long as you emotionally side with your child against God, and do not side with God against your own child’s sins, your child will not get converted. 

CONCLUSION:

1.   Sometimes parents curse their children unintentionally.  But usually their cursing is the result of conscious choices and decisions to oppose God and His plans for their lives.

2.   If you want to know whether or not I think you are cursing your children all you have to do is ask.  I’ll be glad to answer if you ask.  But I wonder if you love your child enough to ask.

3.   Young person?  You need to come to grips with whether or not your mother or father is cursing you.  Do they not stand against sinful practices that they themselves participated in when they were young?  Do they emotionally support me, or do they minimize what I declare to be important and show no exuberance in serving God with me?  Do they side against you when you sin against God, or do they side with you against God? 

4.   I want you to honor your mother and your father.  I want you to obey them as much as you can.  But you are foolish to agree with your mom or your dad when it means you won’t ever get converted.  When they disagree with God, when they won’t make a stand against you committing sin, then they are a cursing to you and not a blessing.

5.   That’s too bad, but it happens too many times.  Just make sure you don’t allow your parents’ bad example, your parents’ sad example, to keep you from getting converted.

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