Calvary Road Baptist Church

“THE WISDOM OF ABIGAIL”

First Samuel 25

This message examines the life of a woman of rare wisdom and insight, a woman who was not only filled with godly wisdom but was also a woman whose life suggests she studied men. Her name was Abigail, and we find her in First Samuel chapter 25. I trust that most of you have already read that chapter since it is much too long to read at this time. If not, be sure to read the chapter when you get home, and then reflect on this remarkable woman with wonder and gratitude to God for including the record of her in Scripture.

Before we begin, allow me to provide the setting for our text. In First Samuel chapters 22, 23, and 24, we have seen David, on the run from jealous King Saul after having been anointed by the prophet Samuel to be Israel’s next king, conduct himself with mildness and generosity, and showing commendable mercy to the man who was hunting him down to kill him.

David has resisted both his temptations, as well as the urgings of his companions, to take matters into his own hands and kill King Saul, to thereby bring to an end his troubles. However, David trusted God to both protect him and provide for his future.

In First Samuel 25, we see another side of David. We are reminded that no man stands a moment longer than God’s grace upholds him, that the strongest are weak as water as soon as the power of the Spirit is withdrawn, and that even the mature and experienced Christian acts foolishly the moment he is left to himself.

None of us have any reserve strength or wisdom in ourselves to draw from. Our source of sufficiency is all treasured up for us in Christ, so that as soon as communion with Him is broken, as soon as we cease looking alone to Him for help, we are helpless.

David had been on his guard against anger and revenge when He was most badly used by Saul, but he did not expect such reproachful language and insolent treatment from this man Nabal. Therefore, he was caught entirely off guard by Nabal’s reaction to his suggestion, and in great indignation, he determined to avenge himself.[1]

Though the focus of the chapter is David, Israel’s anointed and future king, this evening we will fix our attention on the woman God used to intervene in his life, to arrest his fit of rage, and to rescue him from a course of action he had embarked on that would have left him with blood on his hands. Her name was Abigail, and her discretion is a marvel of God’s grace.

The detrimental effect of modern feminism is so widespread, and the examples of virtuous women that can be found to hold up to our daughters as examples are so rare (otherwise their price would not be far above rubies, Proverbs 31.10), that many girls these days have no vision for the calling of a woman.

First Samuel chapter 25 is one of those chapters in God’s Word every Christian woman would do well to spend time reading and studying, as she reflects on the situations and challenges Abigail dealt with as the wife of a complete fool and help to Israel’s future king.

For as necessary as it is for deacons to prayerfully study those portions of God’s Word that deal directly with a deacon’s qualifications and the execution of a deacon’s ministry, so it is necessary for every woman seeking to marry, and every woman who is already married, to immerse herself in passages such as this one.

As much a running commentary as a sermon, our focus will be on Abigail throughout the chapter: 

First, However, THE SITUATION THAT AFFECTED ALL ISRAELITES 

Verse 1: 

“And Samuel died; and all the Israelites were gathered together, and lamented him, and buried him in his house at Ramah. And David arose, and went down to the wilderness of Paran.” 

While Samuel was alive, it can easily be imagined that King Saul’s impulses were at least partially restrained by that old prophet. However, with Samuel passing from the scene, David knew King Saul’s hunt for him would be intensified, so he headed far to the South, to the wilderness of Paran.

If you look on one of your Bible maps, notice that Paran is deep into the Sinai peninsula, which in those days was not so bleak as it is in our day, having more rainfall then than now and not yet blighted by Arab Muslim occupation. David was playing it safe. 

Next, We Are Given THE BACKGROUND INFORMATION 

Verse 2: 

“And there was a man in Maon, whose possessions were in Carmel; and the man was very great, and he had three thousand sheep, and a thousand goats: and he was shearing his sheep in Carmel.” 

Be mindful that the Carmel mentioned in this verse is not Mount Carmel. Mount Carmel is on the Mediterranean Sea, on the northern extremity of the country. This region of Carmel is South of Hebron and North of the wilderness of Paran, where David sought refuge from King Saul.[2] 

Verse 3: 

“Now the name of the man was Nabal; and the name of his wife Abigail: and she was a woman of good understanding, and of a beautiful countenance: but the man was churlish and evil in his doings; and he was of the house of Caleb.” 

Nabal is contrasted with his wife, Abigail. While he is described as “churlish and evil,” which is another way of saying that he was stubborn and bad, she is described in glowing terms. She was “a woman of good understanding, and of a beautiful countenance” who happened to be married to a man who was a loser, despite being very wealthy. How does such a thing not reflect on her? Remember that marriages were typically arranged in those days. The rich guy wanted to marry that outstanding example of womanhood, and he got the woman he wanted. 

Verses 4-9: 

4  And David heard in the wilderness that Nabal did shear his sheep.

5  And David sent out ten young men, and David said unto the young men, Get you up to Carmel, and go to Nabal, and greet him in my name:

6  And thus shall ye say to him that liveth in prosperity, Peace be both to thee, and peace be to thine house, and peace be unto all that thou hast.

7  And now I have heard that thou hast shearers: now thy shepherds which were with us, we hurt them not, neither was there ought missing unto them, all the while they were in Carmel.

8  Ask thy young men, and they will shew thee. Wherefore let the young men find favour in thine eyes: for we come in a good day: give, I pray thee, whatsoever cometh to thine hand unto thy servants, and to thy son David.

9  And when David’s young men came, they spake to Nabal according to all those words in the name of David, and ceased. 

Sheepherding was a dangerous vocation, with the sheep and shepherds subject to danger from men and wild animals.[3] David directed his men to protect Nabal’s men and flocks. Of course, Nabal had to have known this protection was being provided for him. Therefore, since it was a shearing season, he sent his young men to suggest that Nabal reply with a little consideration in return for his protection. That was not an unreasonable request on David’s part, especially since he was God’s anointed to be Israel’s next king, and everyone knew it. 

Verses 10-13:

10  And Nabal answered David’s servants, and said, Who is David? and who is the son of Jesse? there be many servants now a days that break away every man from his master.

11  Shall I then take my bread, and my water, and my flesh that I have killed for my shearers, and give it unto men, whom I know not whence they be?

12  So David’s young men turned their way, and went again, and came and told him all those sayings.

13  And David said unto his men, Gird ye on every man his sword. And they girded on every man his sword; and David also girded on his sword: and there went up after David about four hundred men; and two hundred abode by the stuff. 

When David’s young men spoke to Nabal, he reacted without thinking, typical of his churlish and evil personality, and spoke disparagingly about David in front of his young warriors, basically describing him as an ungrateful runaway slave. On the one hand, he claimed he didn’t know who this David and his men were, verse 11, yet he knew that David was the son of Jesse, verse 10. I guess that the man was just a foolish tightwad who saw a chance to get away with being protected by David’s men without it costing him anything. It was a good thing for him that David’s fighting men did not kill him on the spot, but kept their mouths shut until they had a chance to tell their leader. David’s response was to determine to kill this guy who had insulted him in front of his men, to seek his revenge upon the man so foolish as to talk about him that way. Did Nabal realize just who he was dealing with, the man who was known far and wide as the warrior who not only slew Goliath, but also the man who has killed his ten thousands? One of the characteristics of a fool, whether man or woman, is the failure to consider the essential factors that contribute to other people’s decisions and conduct. 

Third, ABIGAIL LEARNS OF THE CRISIS 

Keep in mind that all that has transpired to this point has occurred without Abigail’s knowledge: 

14  But one of the young men told Abigail, Nabal’s wife, saying, Behold, David sent messengers out of the wilderness to salute our master; and he railed on them.

15  But the men were very good unto us, and we were not hurt, neither missed we any thing, as long as we were conversant with them, when we were in the fields:

16  They were a wall unto us both by night and day, all the while we were with them keeping the sheep.

17  Now therefore know and consider what thou wilt do; for evil is determined against our master, and against all his household: for he is such a son of Belial, that a man cannot speak to him. 

Why did the young man tell Abigail instead of telling his master? Surely, this was disloyalty. Keep in mind, you who get upset when you find out that people are reluctant to speak to you directly, that the fault is frequently yours. You are difficult to talk to. People are only too willing to talk to people who can be talked to. You had better hope the person who listens to the people who feel they cannot talk to you has your interests at heart.

Abigail knew what her husband was like. It would do her no good in the present crisis to say, “How dare you speak the truth out loud about my husband, your master?” She knew that all their lives are in danger because of her husband’s stubbornness, that David was perfectly justified in asking for some payment for services rendered to Nabal, and her husband was not the kind of guy you could talk to when real understanding and thoughtfulness was needed. Too proud. Too hardheaded. The young man came to her and asked her what she was going to do because he trusted her wisdom. He did the right thing under the circumstances. Sometimes you find yourself facing conflicting principles. Do I show loyalty to my master and remain silent, or do I take an action which might save all our lives? Which principle should weigh more heavily, demonstrating loyalty or preserving lives? 

Fourth, A DECISIVE WOMAN OF ACTION 

18  Then Abigail made haste, and took two hundred loaves, and two bottles of wine, and five sheep ready dressed, and five measures of parched corn, and an hundred clusters of raisins, and two hundred cakes of figs, and laid them on asses.

19  And she said unto her servants, Go on before me; behold, I come after you. But she told not her husband Nabal.

20  And it was so, as she rode on the ass, that she came down by the covert of the hill, and, behold, David and his men came down against her; and she met them.

21  Now David had said, Surely in vain have I kept all that this fellow hath in the wilderness, so that nothing was missed of all that pertained unto him: and he hath requited me evil for good.

22  So and more also do God unto the enemies of David, if I leave of all that pertain to him by the morning light any that pisseth against the wall. 

Notice that Abigail took quick action, but did not tell her husband. Of course, he was the head of the household. Of course, he would have gotten mad at her for not asking his permission to do this or that. However, he was a hard head, and everyone knew it. She knew her husband well enough to know that if she informed him, and he started spouting off, or ranting and raving, there would be no way to talk any sense into him until after several people were already dead. You have heard the bromide, “It is easier to ask forgiveness than to ask permission”? That is the thinking we see governing Abigail’s actions.

Does this woman know men, or does this woman know men? Not only did she fully comprehend the stupidity of her husband, but she was also enough of a student of men to realize what David’s likely reaction would be. No one who is a feminist can make the same claim to knowing men, because feminism denigrates some men while destroying other men. Abigail knew this leader of mighty men would be offended and outraged by her husband’s insolence and would seek vengeance against every man he could for the offensive words of her foolish husband. Abigail is a woman who lived in the town of Realville, whereas feminists too often live in the community of Blind To The Way Men Are City.

It was when she was traveling to meet David and his warriors that our narrator informs us of David’s thoughts. He had behaved with benevolence to protect Nabal’s flocks. So, what did he get for his good deed, but a kick in the teeth. Filled with rage when Abigail met him, and no doubt posturing to some degree for the dangerous young fighters he led, David reacted precisely how this very cagey woman thought he would respond. How could David have reacted differently? Remember, he was functioning much like a warlord, with aggressive, violent, and frustrated young fighters following him who were always on the lookout for any sign of weakness. Abigail was wise enough to know that the man she hurried to speak to was walking a tightrope in which he had to protect his position, not only with her but also with his very deadly followers. 

Fifth, A WOMAN OF WISDOM, HUMILITY, AND RESPONSIBILITY 

Verse 23:  

“And when Abigail saw David, she hasted, and lighted off the ass, and fell before David on her face, and bowed herself to the ground.” 

What Abigail did at this point was no surprise to David. What else could any woman do but fall before him and beg for her life? She would have been a complete fool not to display humility at this point, though many a fool refuses to be humble when only humility is between you and total ruin. 

Verse 24:  

“And fell at his feet, and said, Upon me, my lord, upon me let this iniquity be: and let thine handmaid, I pray thee, speak in thine audience, and hear the words of thine handmaid.” 

Here is where she surprised David and won his admiration. She assumed responsibility for the entire situation, instead of shifting the blame to her stubborn and foolish husband. Don’t you know that got David’s attention? But Abigail was not speaking to David only, was she? She knew she and David were in front of an audience. Therefore, she spoke to David’s angry men, as well. Instead of shifting responsibility, she eagerly assumed responsibility for what had happened. Why so, when so many are so eager to point the finger to others? Abigail was wise enough to know that her influence extended only to her new relationship with David, and not with David’s relationship with her foolish husband. She makes the matter one of David and her so that she could influence David’s response as a consideration of her alone, and what she was seeking, rather than the man who was not there Nabal. How many women do you know who display such wisdom? Yet, before feminism, old women routinely taught this skill set to young girls. Where else will a girl be exposed to such wisdom, except in Churches like ours? 

Verse 25:  

“Let not my lord, I pray thee, regard this man of Belial, even Nabal: for as his name is, so is he; Nabal is his name, and folly is with him: but I thine handmaid saw not the young men of my lord, whom thou didst send.” 

If she was going to save her husband’s life, she knew she could not argue for his nonexistent virtue. He had no redeeming qualities. He was a fool. What good would an unwise demonstration of loyalty do for either Nabal or Abigail at that point? It would do no one any good at all. She told David that the whole episode between his young warriors and her husband went bad because she had not spoken to David’s young warriors herself. Thus, she argued that responsibility for the turn of events and bad feelings should all fall on her. Oh, how very wise this woman was, not only in recognizing the benefit of admitting what kind of man her husband was but in shouldering the blame for what happened. Why was her course of action wise? One can only affect things one assumes responsibility for. 

Verse 26:  

“Now therefore, my lord, as the LORD liveth, and as thy soul liveth, seeing the LORD hath withholden thee from coming to shed blood, and from avenging thyself with thine own hand, now let thine enemies, and they that seek evil to my lord, be as Nabal.” 

Reread this with me. 

“Seeing the LORD hath withholden thee from coming to shed blood, and from avenging thyself with thine own hand.” 

Notice that Abigail injected the LORD into David’s consideration by explicitly telling him that God was withholding him from killing her husband and avenging himself with his hand. Ironically, that is precisely what David intended to do. Who, pray tell, is God using to withhold David from doing this? Abigail, herself. She continued, “now let thine enemies, and they that seek evil to my lord, be as Nabal.” She argued that it should be sufficient for David that his enemies be as stupid as was her husband. She was thereby very effectively arguing for her husband’s life, don’t you see? What a woman! However, she was not finished. 

Verse 27:  

“And now this blessing which thine handmaid hath brought unto my lord, let it even be given unto the young men that follow my lord.” 

What did she do here? She gave David what he was initially after, food. Of course, now that he has the food he and his men so desperately need, there remained only his anger and desire for vengeance for her to deal with. Keep in mind that Abigail could not herself deal with her husband’s stupidity and stubbornness, so she simply bypassed him and did what needed to be done. David, however, was a thinking man, and a woman can deal with a thinking man once she has gotten his attention. 

Verse 28:  

“I pray thee, forgive the trespass of thine handmaid: for the LORD will certainly make my lord a sure house; because my lord fighteth the battles of the LORD, and evil hath not been found in thee all thy days.” 

Incredibly, she appealed to David to forgive her. Notice, she made sure again that the blame was all on her, and none of it was on her husband. Why so? David was far more likely to forgive her than Nabal. In doing that, she did save her husband’s life. Why did she do this? On what basis did she disobey her husband? It was not merely to save his life, and possibly hers. Notice the rest of the verse. Abigail knew three things about David: First, she knew that God would establish this man’s kingdom. Second, she knew that David fought God’s battles, so this matter with her husband was quite beneath him. Third, she knew David was not an evil man, and therefore he should not soil his reputation by seeking vengeance in this way. She had the wisdom to grasp that her husband stood in the way of her serving God, so she went past him. There is no warrant in God’s Word for any woman allowing her husband to prevent her from serving God. For Abigail, it was a relatively simple matter of considering her stubborn and thoughtless husband and then considering the LORD’s anointed successor to King Saul. Take note of First Corinthians 7.15, which reads, 

“But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart.” 

Ask yourself, why would an unsaved husband depart, except for his disapproval of his wife’s commitment to serving God no matter what her husband says or does? A Christian woman simply does not miss Church or ministry because her stubborn husband objects to it. Christ has liberated women from that kind of bondage. One final question before continuing: “Pastor, was not Abigail deceiving David by taking the blame and asking his forgiveness when she had done nothing wrong?” My answer is, was David deceived in any way? No. He correctly understood her tactic with him, as well as the wisdom of it, and he approved. If there is no intent to deceive, and there is no deception, then what you have is a demonstration of extraordinary wisdom in selecting words to negotiate the barriers of David’s mind, and his men’s minds, with David fully knowing what she was doing as she did it. 

Verse 29:  

“Yet a man is risen to pursue thee, and to seek thy soul: but the soul of my lord shall be bound in the bundle of life with the LORD thy God; and the souls of thine enemies, them shall he sling out, as out of the middle of a sling.” 

Here she alluded to both King Saul, who is hunting David, and to Goliath, who David slew as a lad, as well as the protection he enjoyed as God’s anointed. Oh, the wisdom of this amazing woman. 

Verses 30-31:    

30  And it shall come to pass, when the LORD shall have done to my lord according to all the good that he hath spoken concerning thee, and shall have appointed thee ruler over Israel;

31  That this shall be no grief unto thee, nor offence of heart unto my lord, either that thou hast shed blood causeless, or that my lord hath avenged himself: but when the LORD shall have dealt well with my lord, then remember thine handmaid. 

She completed her appeal by reminding David what God had planned for him, that he would rule Israel, and that this incident should be no grief to him since he would not shed blood without cause by avenging himself. She only asked that he remember her when he became king. Some have expressed the opinion that Abigail lowered herself here, by asking for a favor from David. That is not the case at all. She showed a desire that could only have been fulfilled after David became king, thereby demonstrating her faith that God keeps His promises. Such would only serve to encourage David during this bleak period in his life. 

Sixth, ABIGAIL’S WISDOM AND ACTION IS APPRECIATED BY DAVID 

32  And David said to Abigail, Blessed be the LORD God of Israel, which sent thee this day to meet me:

33  And blessed be thy advice, and blessed be thou, which hast kept me this day from coming to shed blood, and from avenging myself with mine own hand.

34  For in very deed, as the LORD God of Israel liveth, which hath kept me back from hurting thee, except thou hadst hasted and come to meet me, surely there had not been left unto Nabal by the morning light any that pisseth against the wall.

35  So David received of her hand that which she had brought him, and said unto her, Go up in peace to thine house; see, I have hearkened to thy voice, and have accepted thy person. 

Did this woman work David, or what? I can imagine how profoundly impressed he was with her wisdom, her courage, her faith, and the spiritual genius she displayed in dealing with him from her position as a subordinate to him. And stupid people think you have to be in charge to influence people.

In verse 32, he thanked God for sending her to him that day. In verse 33, he blessed her advice and then blessed her person. In verse 34, he openly acknowledged that, but for her, there would have been a lot of blood spilled that day, and that Nabal and his men would have been mere memories.

David then took the gifts she brought to give him and expressed to her that he had granted her the forgiveness she asked for. 

Verse 35:  

“So David received of her hand that which she had brought him, and said unto her, Go up in peace to thine house; see, I have hearkened to thy voice, and have accepted thy person.” 

Seventh, ABIGAIL’S HONESTY AND GOD’S DELIVERANCE 

36  And Abigail came to Nabal; and, behold, he held a feast in his house, like the feast of a king; and Nabal’s heart was merry within him, for he was very drunken: wherefore she told him nothing, less or more, until the morning light.

37  But it came to pass in the morning, when the wine was gone out of Nabal, and his wife had told him these things, that his heart died within him, and he became as a stone.

38  And it came to pass about ten days after, that the LORD smote Nabal, that he died. 

Interesting, is it not? Nabal did not have the sense to reward David and his men with a little food for protecting his flocks and shepherds from harm, but verse 36 reveals that he had no problem spending money to throw a party and to get drunk. What a husband this woman was married to.

She had saved his life, without him knowing it. Therefore, after he woke up from his drunken stupor, she told him what had transpired, and he had what appears to have been a stroke.

Though she saved her idiot husband’s life, God chose to take it, and he died. That was God’s marvelous deliverance of Abigail from her churlish and evil husband. 

Finally, DAVID’S APPRECIATION IS DEMONSTRATED 

39  And when David heard that Nabal was dead, he said, Blessed be the LORD, that hath pleaded the cause of my reproach from the hand of Nabal, and hath kept his servant from evil: for the LORD hath returned the wickedness of Nabal upon his own head. And David sent and communed with Abigail, to take her to him to wife.

40  And when the servants of David were come to Abigail to Carmel, they spake unto her, saying, David sent us unto thee, to take thee to him to wife.

41  And she arose, and bowed herself on her face to the earth, and said, Behold, let thine handmaid be a servant to wash the feet of the servants of my lord.

42  And Abigail hasted, and arose, and rode upon an ass, with five damsels of hers that went after her; and she went after the messengers of David, and became his wife.

43  David also took Ahinoam of Jezreel; and they were also both of them his wives.

44  But Saul had given Michal his daughter, David’s wife, to Phalti the son of Laish, which was of Gallim. 

David married the widowed Abigail. She became one of his wives and gave him a son. I would not attempt to express approval of their marriage, except to say that consistency is not typically a characteristic of God’s people, and that polygamy was common in those days, especially among kings.

However, we should ask why David married her? There were probably two reasons: First, he needed her money. She had become a wealthy widow, and this whole episode was about David getting food for his men. Until he began to rule as king, he would be strapped for money to feed his men. But she knew that and was okay with it. Second, he saw in her a rare kind of woman. She had the wisdom to see the big picture, to take it all in, and to see God’s role in it all. No doubt, he was wise enough to see in her a woman who would give him the wise counsel for years to come that her first husband had been too stupid to take. 

The potential for a young woman who places her faith in Jesus Christ is boundless. According to First Corinthians 1.30, Christ Jesus is made unto the Christian wisdom, as well as righteousness, sanctification, and redemption.

Additionally, as the Christian woman matures spiritually, she gains wisdom through the experiences of life, through her study of God’s Word, and in answer to prayer, James 1.5. Should she further demonstrate her wisdom by seeking mentoring relationships with godly aged women, she might end up being a Proverbs 31 virtuous woman.

However, there are limits even for a woman who is spiritual and blessed with dramatic wisdom, as we see with Abigail. What do we see from her life? What might the young Christian woman apply from First Samuel 25 to her own life? I can think of several things:

First, be very careful who you marry, because there are some men you just cannot work with. Even Abigail could get nowhere with her very wealthy and extremely stubborn husband, so she ignored him and served God as best she knew how. That is what every Christian woman should do who finds herself in such a marriage.

Second, we see that there are men that a wise woman can influence, even men of great power and force of personality. They have to be thinking men rather than stupid men, not men who are stubborn to their hurt. David was such a man. I hope you are married to such a man.

Finally, and this is most important, she held on to what she knew was God’s purpose, the eventual elevation of David to be king over Israel. In other words, while she was loyal to her husband in that she preserved his life from harm by David, she was more loyal to God than to her husband.

Abigail was a remarkable woman; the kind of woman a girl would do well to emulate.

__________

[1] Arthur W. Pink, The Life Of David, Volume I, (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan Publishing Company, 1958), pages 133-135.

[2] Alfred Edersheim, Bible History Old Testament, (Peabody, MA: Hendrickson Publishers, Inc., 1995), pages 128, 461 (see footnote 13), and 880.

[3] 1 Samuel 17.34-37

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Pastor@CalvaryRoadBaptist.Church