Calvary Road Baptist Church

“THE BASICS OF RAISING CHILDREN”

Deuteronomy 6.1-25 

Consider two completely different considerations with me on our way to the Bible. 

Consideration number one. Answer the three following questions: 

#1,    Were your parents spiritual and godly when they raised you, setting an example for you in Church attendance, Bible reading, and prayer while you were growing up?  Yes   No

#2,    Did your parents pointedly teach you Bible truths from God’s Word by both instruction and personal example?  Yes   No

#3,    Did your parents implement a plan when rearing you that showed you the rightness of a God-centered and Christ-exalting approach to life that included you understanding how important your salvation was to them?  Yes   No 

I am not trying to persuade you to betray any loyalties toward your parents. Neither am I encouraging you to dishonor either your mother or your father. I seek only to bring you to a mindset that recognizes that, in all likelihood, most of us were raised by moms and dads who loved us but who were pretty much clueless about how to go about preparing us for Christian adulthood and eternity. I know that was the case with my upbringing.

If that be true in your case, then you are in many ways like the Jewish people were who were rescued from four centuries of bondage when Moses led them from Egypt to the Promised Land. Their mothers and fathers loved them and wanted the best for them, but they did not grasp what was entailed in properly raising children to adulthood.

Consideration number two. So many moms and dads in recent generations are in the same situation the children of Israel were found to be in, but for a different reason. In our culture, adults have been swept along by the rapid current of a debilitating cultural trend that is accurately described by author Diana West in her magnificent book, “The Death Of The Grown-Up: How America’s Arrested Development Is Bringing Down Western Civilization.”

A sharp-eyed societal observer, West’s research is very impressive. She notes that in a book published in 1967, the authors correctly surmised, “The homes of yesteryear were adult-centered. Today we have the child-centered home.”[1] She also dug up in another publication near the same time asserting, “What worries us is not the greater freedom of youth but rather the abdication of rights and privileges of adults for the convenience of the immature.”[2] And yet another, “It’s the parents who don’t say ‘no’!”[3] She goes on to cite a Columbia University historian’s observation about adult’s “loss of nerve.” She concludes, “Central to the surrender of the adult, then, was the collapse of the parent.”[4]

In Moses’ day, the problem facing adults, parents, and parents to be, resulted from four centuries of slavery under the tyranny of Egyptian idolatry. In our day, it is consecutive generations of adults increasingly capitulating to the demands of children and child-oriented cultural norms. The remedy for what ailed the generation of mothers and fathers led by Moses is the remedy for what ails the moms and dads of our day as well.

These things said, let me make two things clear to you: First, the Law of Moses was not given to you and me, but only to the Jewish people of Moses’ day and their heirs. In Deuteronomy 5.2-3 Moses declared, 

2  The LORD our God made a covenant with us in Horeb.

3  The LORD made not this covenant with our fathers, but with us, even us, who are all of us here alive this day. 

As well, Romans 3.19 reinforces this understanding, the Apostle Paul writing, 

“Now we know that what things soever the law saith, it saith to them who are under the law.” 

What are we to make of this in light of Second Timothy 3.16, which declares, 

“All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness”? 

It means that we can learn principles from every portion of God’s Word, even when studying those passages that command Old Testament Jewish people to perform duties that we are not obligated to perform.

With these things hopefully settled in your mind, I call your attention to Deuteronomy chapter six, where we can review the basics of raising children. This will be especially important to those of you who think kids raise themselves, and all you need to do is feed them, bathe them, clothe them, and keep them from being run over by cars when they play in the street.

Perhaps people could get away with that approach to child-rearing back in the days when kids grew up on farms or in neighborhoods where stay-at-home moms looked out for their own and everyone else’s kids on the block. But we don’t live in that world anymore. The world we live in has schools teaching kids that Islam and transgenderism are acceptable, that gender identity is fluid, with neighborhoods populated by registered sex offenders living in group homes, and with middle and high school kids since Bill Clinton’s presidency who think oral sex isn’t sex at all. Who would be so foolish to deny that our children are in great danger?

Our text is Deuteronomy chapter six, which I will divide into four parts for reading, observation, and application: 

First, MOSES ENCOURAGES OBEDIENCE IN LIFE 

1  Now these are the commandments, the statutes, and the judgments, which the LORD your God commanded to teach you, that ye might do them in the land whither ye go to possess it:

2  That thou mightest fear the LORD thy God, to keep all his statutes and his commandments, which I command thee, thou, and thy son, and thy son’s son, all the days of thy life; and that thy days may be prolonged.

3  Hear therefore, O Israel, and observe to do it; that it may be well with thee, and that ye may increase mightily, as the LORD God of thy fathers hath promised thee, in the land that floweth with milk and honey. 

In verse 1, Moses assured the children of Israel that he was passing on to them only what the LORD their God had commanded him to teach them for their obedience to Him in the Promised Land. This principle is repeated in the Great Commission directive of Matthew 28.20: 

“Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you.” 

The purpose of Moses’ instruction of the Israelites is their wisdom, verse 2, that they would fear the LORD their God and obey Him. Notice the generational connections of a father to son to grandson. The nonsense of “do as I say not as I do” and of fathers who abandon their part of parenting to their wives does not fit into God’s template for child-rearing. The father’s importance in raising children is very prominent in this passage. How destructive, then, are government aid and welfare programs that encourage young women to “marry” Uncle Sam and live off the government dole, using men only to sire the source of a government entitlement check?

Verse 3 shows the relationship that exists between obedience and blessings that is lost on some people these days, who reward their children for disobedience, or who at least give kids what they want whether or not they misbehave. Good parenting does not reward disobedience or folly but diligently seeks to show that in life, there are always consequences. 

Next, MOSES ESTABLISHES THE FOUNDATION FOR LIFE 

4  Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God is one LORD:

5  And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.

6  And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart:

7  And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.

8  And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes.

9  And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates. 

How is life rightly lived apart from one’s relationship with God, the Creator, and Sustainer of all things? And while this passage does not explain how one’s relationship with God is established and maintained, we are here shown the underlying truth about God and the creature’s relationship toward God that applies as much in our day as it did during Moses’ time. Three things that children must be taught by their parents:

First, the doctrine of God. 

“Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God is one LORD.” 

Leading the children of Israel from a land of idolatry to a land of idolatry, it was profoundly important that God’s uniqueness and nature be firmly established in the minds and hearts of both fathers and their children. To that end, Moses gave his people the Shema, recited by religious Jews to this day. There would be nothing whatsoever wrong with fathers and their children reciting this verse daily: 

“Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God is one LORD.” 

Next, one’s duty toward God. The revelation of truth always leads to responsibility in light of that truth. Therefore, in light of what the children of Israel have been revealed about the nature of their God, there is a corresponding duty that generally and naturally falls upon them, and us as well, as a direct result of that revealed doctrine. Verse 5: 

“And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.” 

Wouldn’t this also be an excellent verse for fathers to recite every day with their children? And how long would it take? Five seconds?

Third, the diligence that derives from the duty, owing to the doctrine. The very nature of God demands that His creatures love Him with all our hearts and with all our souls and with all our mights. To do that, specific steps must be taken: 

6  And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart:

7  And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.

8  And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes.

9  And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates. 

Notice the steps involved to love God so: First, the words Moses commanded must be in the hearts of the parents. That’s in verse 6. This corresponds to Psalm 119.11: 

“Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee.” 

I wonder how many moms and dads hide God’s Word in their hearts, which is, after all, more than merely memorizing verses? Next, once God’s Word is in mom’s heart, and is in dad’s heart, then verses 7-9: 

7  And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.

8  And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes.

9  And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates. 

I would suspect that the reason most children are not diligently taught, here, there, and everywhere, is the Word has not been hidden in mom’s heart or dad’s heart. Of course, these principles apply as much in our day as they applied in Moses’ day. 

Third, MOSES ISSUES A WARNING ABOUT PROSPERITY 

10 And it shall be, when the LORD thy God shall have brought thee into the land which he sware unto thy fathers, to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob, to give thee great and goodly cities, which thou buildedst not,

11 And houses full of all good things, which thou filledst not, and wells digged, which thou diggedst not, vineyards and olive trees, which thou plantedst not; when thou shalt have eaten and be full;

12 Then beware lest thou forget the LORD, which brought thee forth out of the land of Egypt, from the house of bondage.

13 Thou shalt fear the LORD thy God, and serve him, and shalt swear by his name.

14 Ye shall not go after other gods, of the gods of the people which are round about you;

15 (For the LORD thy God is a jealous God among you) lest the anger of the LORD thy God be kindled against thee, and destroy thee from off the face of the earth.

16 Ye shall not tempt the LORD your God, as ye tempted him in Massah.

17 Ye shall diligently keep the commandments of the LORD your God, and his testimonies, and his statutes, which he hath commanded thee.

18 And thou shalt do that which is right and good in the sight of the LORD: that it may be well with thee, and that thou mayest go in and possess the good land which the LORD sware unto thy fathers,

19 To cast out all thine enemies from before thee, as the LORD hath spoken. 

When Israel was ushered into the Promised Land, they were given already developed farmland, already mature vineyards, already planted orchards, and already built cities. In other words, they were given instant prosperity. The same is true to a great degree with your children. Just as you benefited from your parents’ accomplishments, so your children will benefit from yours. So, there is an application that can be made from Moses’ warnings in this passage that makes what Moses said to them very useful to you in the parenting of your children:

Instruct your children, again and again, that you are not to forget God when you are greatly blessed: 

10 And it shall be, when the LORD thy God shall have brought thee into the land which he sware unto thy fathers, to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob, to give thee great and goodly cities, which thou buildedst not,

11 And houses full of all good things, which thou filledst not, and wells digged, which thou diggedst not, vineyards and olive trees, which thou plantedst not; when thou shalt have eaten and be full;

12 Then beware lest thou forget the LORD, which brought thee forth out of the land of Egypt, from the house of bondage. 

Remember that David was very godly and spiritual when he was poor, and when he was in distress, and when he was running for his life. But when so many of his urgent prayers had been answered, and he came to know where his next meal was coming from, he forgot God and committed great sins. When Solomon was young, and his life was threatened by relatives who wanted his throne, he walked with God. But when he was established, and secure, and very wealthy, he forgot God and wandered far away. Do you want to make sure your children stay spiritual by making sure they are failures who have to pray down every meal and pray in every new pair of shoes? Or do you aspire for them to be materially successful in life? The answer is obvious. Then you need to teach them and train them and warn them and caution them, again and again, and again, to be careful not to forget God in their bounty. But, of course, you cannot teach your children what you do not practice yourself.

So, how are children to be prepared for the dangers of future prosperity and success? 

13 Thou shalt fear the LORD thy God, and serve him, and shalt swear by his name.

14 Ye shall not go after other gods, of the gods of the people which are round about you;

15 (For the LORD thy God is a jealous God among you) lest the anger of the LORD thy God be kindled against thee, and destroy thee from off the face of the earth.

16 Ye shall not tempt the LORD your God, as ye tempted him in Massah.

17 Ye shall diligently keep the commandments of the LORD your God, and his testimonies, and his statutes, which he hath commanded thee.

18 And thou shalt do that which is right and good in the sight of the LORD: that it may be well with thee, and that thou mayest go in and possess the good land which the LORD sware unto thy fathers,

19 To cast out all thine enemies from before thee, as the LORD hath spoken. 

We haven’t the time to go over this passage in meticulous detail, so allow me to selectively point out some important things to you parents about raising your kids: 

Not that kids don’t need unstructured time, and lots of it. Children do not need overly structured lives or helicopter mothers who always hover over them. But diligence is a vital characteristic of all good parenting. 

Finally, MOSES ISSUES DIRECTIONS FOR PASSING IT ON 

20 And when thy son asketh thee in time to come, saying, What mean the testimonies, and the statutes, and the judgments, which the LORD our God hath commanded you?

21 Then thou shalt say unto thy son, We were Pharaoh’s bondmen in Egypt; and the LORD brought us out of Egypt with a mighty hand:

22 And the LORD shewed signs and wonders, great and sore, upon Egypt, upon Pharaoh, and upon all his household, before our eyes:

23 And he brought us out from thence, that he might bring us in, to give us the land which he sware unto our fathers.

24 And the LORD commanded us to do all these statutes, to fear the LORD our God, for our good always, that he might preserve us alive, as it is at this day.

25 And it shall be our righteousness, if we observe to do all these commandments before the LORD our God, as he hath commanded us. 

“Then thou shalt say unto thy son, We were Pharaoh’s bondmen in Egypt; and the LORD brought us out of Egypt with a mighty hand.” 

“And the LORD shewed signs and wonders, great and sore, upon Egypt, upon Pharaoh, and upon all his household, before our eyes.” 

“And he brought us out from thence, that he might bring us in, to give us the land which he sware unto our fathers.” 

“And the LORD commanded us to do all these statutes, to fear the LORD our God, for our good always, that he might preserve us alive, as it is at this day.” 

“And it shall be our righteousness, if we observe to do all these commandments before the LORD our God, as he hath commanded us.” 

This is a survey and overview kind of message. It may very well not apply to those of you whose children are already raised and to those of you who are not parents. But to the parents among us, and to those who will someday be parents, there are two thoughts I would like to leave you with. Then there is a final thought I would like to impress upon everyone.

Here is the first thought. If the words of Moses to the Israelites, being inspired by God and therefore containing Divine wisdom, are of any significance at all, then it is clear that contrary to the thinking of the vast majority of moms and dads in our culture, children do not raise themselves. Not that they cannot grow up without little more than food, clothes, and an occasional bath which are left to electronic devices instead of being parented. But they will not grow up well. Children who have not been raised while being taught spiritual lessons from God’s Word are children who were not raised properly.

Notice that Moses paid no attention to sports, beauty aids, school plays, or the development of dancing or singing or musical instrument playing skills. Such things are not bad. They are just not important. Moses’ comments about parenting addressed the moral and spiritual aspects of raising children, showing it to be an extremely challenging and time-consuming endeavor. No wonder so few parents pour their lives into this type of parenting when taking kids to theme parks and doing nothing besides is so much easier and also more fun.

On to the next thought. It is not mentioned at all in Deuteronomy chapter 6, but these child-rearing instructions clearly take place without any exposure of the Jewish children to the surrounding Gentile nations. For forty years, they were isolated from the Egyptians they had left behind and the surrounding Gentile peoples they were passing by.

Once they entered the Promised Land, their exposure to other cultures would continue to be very limited. Even in that insulated environment, the steps to be taken to properly raise children required great dedication and diligence on the part of parents. Yet you see no danger when your child goes to school every day to sit under the influence of an infidel, to be programmed by infidels, and to develop friendships with classmates who themselves are infidels? Are you okay with that? It doesn’t bother you at all? Do you see no spiritual threat to your child with that?

Your youngster comes home from school, and you see no need to debrief him, to discover what wickedness he has been exposed to, what demonic doctrines he might have been taught that day? And this when we know that in some schools children are being taught the Quran and the Muslim faith? And some kids are being taught by homosexuals and transgender teachers that gender is fluid? Do you think that might not affect your child’s views of right and wrong?

I would think that as challenging as Moses showed parenting to be in an insulated environment with little exposure to sinful influences during their wilderness wanderings, the challenges to moms and dads in our day are far greater, requiring a much keener determination and diligence to raise children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

Are you single at present? How irresponsible is it for you, a future mom or dad, to give little or no serious thought to the spiritual condition of the person you consider for marriage, and the effect your choice of a life partner has on the eternal destiny of the children you will someday have. I know women who married men they have never seen open and read the Bible. I know men who married women they have never seen pray.

These are serious considerations, to be sure. Is there nothing moms and dads can do? Yes, there certainly are. Get on top of it. Teach and train your children. Don’t expect what you don’t inspect, in their classrooms, in their after-school activities, and with their friends. If you are at all concerned about your child’s friends and the impact they will have on your child, then do what you can to reach your youngster’s friends and their families.

Invite them to Church, repeatedly. Get them to Vacation Bible School. Make sure everyone usually plays at your house and under your supervision, and not at the friend’s houses with who knows what kind of supervision. Your children are at risk, but there is much you can do with some thought.

But there is another consideration that I want to leave with you as my final thought. Do you know how to be a mom? If you do, you learned from your godly and spiritually mature mom, or you do not know how to be a mom. Do you know how to be a dad? Being a dad is much more than making a baby and eventually teaching your son how to hit a ball or shoot a .22. You need to be trained to be a mom. You need to be trained to be a dad. Parenting is counterintuitive, and you need to make sure you are not so affected by this culture we live in that you are among those adults who have lost their nerve when dealing with children. The Biblical remedy for addressing your parenting issues? You need to be discipled.

Reach out to me. I would like to help you with your loss of nerve issue. I would like to minister to your “I have no idea what to do” problem. E-mail me at Pastor@CalvaryRoadBaptist.Church

__________

[1] Diana West, The Death Of The Grown-Up: How America’s Arrested Development Is Bringing Down Western Civilization, (New York: St. Martin’s Griffin, 2008), page 33.

[2] Ibid.

[3] Ibid.

[4] Ibid., page 57.

Would you like to contact Dr. Waldrip about this sermon? Please contact him by clicking on the link below. Please do not change the subject within your email message. Thank you.

Pastor@CalvaryRoadBaptist.Church